the bigger picture

2011-01-13T03:11:00.001-08:00

Thanks for dropping by

All my blogs, articles and newsletter archives are now on my website

I also offer a free ebook and 30 day video course Feel Better Right Now! when you sign up for my Connections newsletter. You can sign up here

I hope you enjoy them. looking forward to hearing from you

Jessica

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

2011-01-13T03:11:00.000-08:00

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

2009-04-14T10:38:00.001-07:00

The Bigger Picture has moved and has grown up into a beautiful monthly newsletter called Connections. Still the same inspiring thoughts and with added bits like inspiring videos, great offers, and some plain good old fun stuff. If you'd like to sign up to receive this new offspring (and yes you can unsubscribe easily any time) then please click here

Thanks and I hope you enjoy the newsletter

With love Jessica

2008-04-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Expectations

I remember chatting with a friend a few years ago and she looked very down in the mouth, "What's wrong?" I asked her, "I'm suffering from expectations!" was her reply. I loved this answer, it was so honest and demonstrated that she was taking 100% responsibility for the experiences in her life.

I had a bout of expectations at the weekend. It was my 50th birthday party, well actually it was a 90th birthday party as I was celebrating it with a close friend who was 40. He very generously had lent me five years so were saying we were 45 each! Anyway, here we are in the south of Spain, two very good friends had lent us their magnificent villa overlooking the marina and I had built up in my mind this wonderful party around the pool. Sunshine sparkling on the water and a balmy evening with us outside under the stars.

It rained! Not only did it rain, but it rained cats and dogs and horses, and donkeys and mules! At the same time it blew, a lot, rather like the wind tunnels that they test cars in. Get the picture?

Where were my expectations then? For a while I got very disappointed and because of that wasn't really enjoying myself. I was like the little girl who won't play 'cos it's not the game she wanted. All I could focus on was the fact that it wasn't as I had planned. Luckily someone pointed out early on that I was surrounded by the same good friends who would have been outside had the sun shone, and instead were all around a roaring log fire and were having fun. At that point I was able to drop the bout of expectation I was putting myself through and join in the party – and it was fun!

Where do your expectations trip you up in life? What are they stopping you enjoying or participating in? How different would your every day experience be if you weren't caught up in the expectation of how it should be? Can you drop them and join the party?

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to create what you want in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs the next one in London is in June and there are quite a few happening in Australia and New Zealand this spring. please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2008-04-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

How we see the world

Our world is as we see it, that is a statement that is made a lot by people nowadays. What does it mean though? Does it mean we can make our own judgement on what we see happening in the world? Or perhaps it means that we give our own meaning to what we see happening. Either of these statements is true but there is also a literal meaning to this.

We have over 2 millions bits of information coming towards us every second of every day. Now if we were aware of all those bits of information we surely would go mad. In fact we only become aware of around 130 bits of information per second. What happens to the rest? Well, we filter it out. Our attitudes, beliefs, programming, decisions, memories language, values and even our energy in this time space continuum act as filters to most of this information coming our way. We even have this in our language – the phrase of the 'rose tinted glasses' allude to the filters in front of our eyes.

So truly, yes, the world is as we see it and we see it through our own personal, individual, unique filters. No wonder we can't agree on what is going on! However once we are aware of this filtering process we can become aware of the filters we have. And, once we become aware of them we can change them.

A good friend of mine, Matt, told me a story that is a great example of once you start looking for something, then you often notice it more than you ever did before. He told me that his next-door neighbour was building a birdbath in his garden and using a whole load of little broken off tiles. Matt asked him where he got the tiles from and the neighbour said from the street corner – there is lots of building going on and they are everywhere. Now Matt had never noticed this before and said so but the neighbour said that because you weren’t looking for them. Ever since that day Matt sees hundreds of little broken off tiles in street corners. Once it entered his awareness he could see them, whereas before he simply didn’t have that filter on his vision.

This applies to everything in our lives. And the great thing is that once you get this idea you can begin to see the filters you have in place that don’t serve you very well. Are you looking for triumph or disaster? Abundance or lack? Laughter or sadness? What filters do you have running right now? Are they serving you well? Would you prefer some new ones?

What are you seeing in front of your eyes?

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to create what you want in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs the next one in London is in June and there are quite a few happening in Australia and New Zealand this spring. please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2008-03-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

The Mirror

Well it has been a while since I have written, busy times right now, but it is nice to be back.

I’ve had an interesting situation develop in the last week that has gotten me to thinking. I have had someone book two sessions for coaching and not turn up or even acknowledge my phone calls. Naïve I might be, but this always shocks me when someone doesn’t honour my time or my contribution.

But in the time old way of tradition of self enquiry it also got me to thinking that this, on one level, is a reflection of me. So, who or what am I not honouring? I cast around for the answer and it didn’t take me too long to see what it was showing me. I have just entered a very busy phase of the year and I have been planning out my time to ensure that I can cover all that needs to get done. I did some goal setting and action steps and put some timelines to them and then promptly ignored rather a lot them! I didn’t honour my own commitments.

These experiences are always a good wake up call. By using the specifics of the situation, i.e. not feeling honoured, and doing the inner enquiry – what is that showing me – I get a much deeper insight and see that it is mirroring something I am doing. Once I see this I can correct it. This a good reminder that our outer world is always a mirror, it’s just whether we are willing to look into it and learn.

What’s your mirror showing you right now? Does it need polishing or is it sparkling?

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to create what you want in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs the next one in London is in June and there are quite a few happening in Australia and New Zealand this spring. please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2008-02-07T08:19:00.000-08:00

Indulgences

Just had a lovely lunch with a friend and at one point we were talking about indulgences. This was mainly because she had brought a lovely chocolate pudding – one of those scrummy ones where there is cake outside and melted chocolate inside – and we all agreed that sometimes indulgences are simply a good thing! Good for the mood, good for the emotions and good for the soul.

In the world of “this is bad for you and that is bad for you” life can become a bit bland. However life is much more fun when we allow ourselves to indulge and enjoy things occasionally. It is also much easier for us to change our patterns of behaviour when we give ourselves a bit of slack. If an iron rod is being used to enforce change we will, very easily, go into the rebel position and run off fast in the other direction. If however we allow a bit of latitude it is much easier to stay pretty much on the path we have chosen. All things in moderation can be a great motto.

Take chocolate for an example – I could very easily eat it daily. In fact I have done this and seen tighter trousers as the result! But to ban it totally from my life would feel very harsh and I would be more likely to go on a chocolate binge. But to allow it in occasionally, and really enjoy it totally guilt free when I do, has allowed me to cut back on the chocolate by at least 90%. Result? An occasional indulgence of chocolate and I don’t resent the lack of it at other times in my life.

This way of being is helpful in many areas of life. I always say to my clients that if they wish to find a way to change an old habit or pattern find the way of least resistance. And - this is really important - really enjoy the indulgences you allow yourself. There is no point in having them and feeling bad, relish them to the full. You end up being more relaxed about what you wish to change in your life, really enjoying the things you do have rather then feeling bad about them, and that in itself is a huge improvement.

So go on enjoy those things you love when you chose to indulge and feel your world lighten up a bit. Go on – you’re worth it!

I won’t be around for a couple of weeks as we are travelling in Switzerland and then a week on the ski slopes. See you again at the end of the month.

I invite you to the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event either in the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to make the changes you truly want in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

2008-02-01T04:58:00.000-08:00

Weighing the Balance

I had an interesting conversation this week about finding the balance between living a simpler lifestyle and still being fulfilled on all levels. Often we can bring different elements into our lives; downsizing, working part time to spend more time with the family, reducing our carbon footprint, sustainable living, growing your own veg, and on one level it can be very fulfilling.

However as human beings we are also set up to want to face challenges, to have to think outside the box, find solutions, learn new things. Without that expansion in our lives we can feel stagnant. In the conversation I was having it was evident that although the lifestyle was great there was something missing and eventually the phrase intellectual challenge popped up.

We are designed to achieve, our self-esteem soars when we do and we get stimulated with more thoughts and ideas. I know from my own experience that when I see no new challenge ahead I feel uncomfortable as though something is missing. It is like I have no forward focus and although I love what I do for a living I need to keep adding to that to expand and grow.

Expansion – in this ever expanding Universe - is our essence. When we are stimulated we constantly send off rockets of desires for new things or experiences and achievements. We need these to feel as though life is moving forward. Not in a frenzied, without this I am nothing feeling, but in a deep feeling of inner growth.

So if you don’t have a new horizon beckoning this year maybe you’d like to have a think about what you would like to add to the mix for 2008? What one thing have you been talking about for a while now but never actually started? What challenge would you like to take on and conquer? It could be anything, a new skill, a new hobby or deeper learning. Part of our fulfilment is this expansion – give it a direction.

To help focus that challenge perhaps you’d like to attend the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

2008-01-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

Who is most important you - or them?

The themes that come up in my coaching from week to week often intrigue me. This week has been about making decisions and who for.

We are often taught to put others first when making decisions, it leads to a polite, caring society. However it also leads to frustration, resentment and a feeling of victim when we put others first to the detriment of ourselves.

When a truly personal decision is important then the only people who should count are the people it directly entails. Point in case I was talking to a client about her wedding plans. Many people wanted different things for different reason and everybody had an opinion as to what the wedding should be like, who should be going and the arrangements of the celebration. When we talked it through it became clear that in fact none of the options that had been discussed were what the couple wanted. They began to see that it was only because they were trying to please other people, people who they loved dearly, that they were contemplating a wedding that did not give them pleasure and only felt stressful. So we came up with a formula to help the decision making process, a wedding should be special to the couple and no one else. It should feel exciting and relaxed. It was their day.

I am not saying we should disregard other opinions, but if we start living our lives to please others then we are setting ourselves up for a fall. This life is ours to experience, ours to explore and ours to enjoy. It is only a belief that we have to live it to please others and as with all beliefs we can choose it either believe it or not. I choose not. I have found that by making decisions for me that in fact it is always the best decision. Our true friends only want our happiness and, even if it doesn’t seem so at first, most of our families are the same. By showing the world how happy we are with our own decisions the world applauds, and joins in.

Live life full on, fulfilling your dreams not another’s, and you will live your life to the end with a WOW, that was a good one, feeling.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

UPCOMING COURSE IN THE UK – MARCH 14 – 16 If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2008-01-13T04:29:00.000-08:00

Living life to the full

A bit late with the blog this week and I have a great reason – we’ve been skiing with some friends and fun took precedence!

We were a mixed group of skiers, some virtually born to it and one member of our party had never been on skies before. He took to it like a duck to water and this was all the more amazing as he is not a spring chicken!

Made me think about how often we limit ourselves and use our age as an excuse. ‘Oh, I can’t learn to do that- I’m far too old!’ ‘Can’t teach an old dog new tricks’. ‘I’m way past the days when I could pick up a new skill’. And the truth of the matter is that if you think that, then that is absolutely right. As Henry Ford once said; whether you think you can do something or you think you can’t, you are right.

My friend came up the mountain and had the wonderful mindset that he was going to be ‘a natural’. Any fear he felt he put to one side and simply went for it 100%. It paid off handsomely and after a two-hour lesson he was up on the main slope with us. By the end of the afternoon he was snow-ploughing his way down the mountain turns and all. Not bad for three hours on skis. His positive mental attitude and the determination to learn to ski overcame anything getting in the way. After one day he was hooked and ready to go back and get better and better. That achievement in itself is a great motivator.

So, what are you not attempting, not going for, not learning? What excuses are your favourites? Maybe age but also maybe fear, or shyness, or lack of confidence? As my friend proved if you adopt the right mental mindset and just go and do it then all those elements are overcome. We learn and grow through the doing. What new experience is waiting out there if you were just brave enough to dive in?

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2008-01-03T09:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

It's funny, I have been writing this blog for over a year now but what with the breaks and holidays this is the 53rd blog I have written, appropriate don’t you think for the first one of the year?

Did you read the one just before Christmas (see below) with the exercise of doing a year review in a painting? Well I did the actual painting – more of a stick men drawing actually as you can see above - and I had a really interesting experience. Once I got started I found I had lots to draw in, I literally went through my diary and it was a continuous ‘oh and then that happened, and then that, oh and then that”. I found it great fun and it felt like a great big rampage of appreciation.

However what was interesting was that many of the things I thought I would want to tippex out didn’t actually feature. Why not? Because they were, more often that not, things that I had wanted to happen, but they hadn’t. How can you draw in something not happening? In fact I began to see that these elements were just things that I would like to draw into 2008.

Talking with others about the exercise some did have a few people or events they would like to say goodbye to for 2008 and a few unfortunate incidents that they didn’t want to repeat but in general the overall feeling was that the good hugely outweighed the bad, and the bad was a thought rather than an event. Lesson – focus on the things that happen rather on the stuff the doesn’t.

So, if you didn’t get around to your painting then I heartily recommend that you do. I took 4 hours drawing my year and as you can see you don’t have to be a master artist to do it, little stick figures are great, if you fancy actually drawing it. If you have friend who would like to have a go do it together, it is great fun as a group project too. Go on, have a rampage of appreciation for a 2007 and then go draw all that you want for 2008 – that’s my next step this Sunday – 2008 with all the things I wanted last year drawn into this – plus some!

Happy 2008!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-12-21T07:06:00.000-08:00

A little something for the New Year

Each year I like to do a ritual to move from the old year to the new. This year the idea that came to me was to include a review of the old, add a dose of gratitude, and then to take through only what I wished for plus some extras in the new. So my offering at the end of the year is this:

Paint your 2008…

Sit somewhere where you will not be disturbed and take some time to review the past year and think about the coming one. Think back through 2007 and identify all the things that stand out for you.

Now imagine that 2007 is a painting – it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece - imagine it as any kind of painting you like, and see all the different aspects of 2007. Things that happened that you liked, and things that you disliked. Changes you made, successes you had, people you met, people you said goodbye to. Experiences you enjoyed, and those that weren’t so nice. Fill in this painting with every aspect of the year. Take a moment to acknowledge them and be grateful for all of them being in your life. Recognise that nothing that happens in life is a waste and we learn from all things.

However now is the time to decide what you choose to leave behind. Step back and in your mind (or in reality if you have actually drawn the painting) taking a large tippex pen and white out all the things that you do not wish to see in 2008. You now have a canvas in front of you with some white gaps, so turn and think about 2008. What would you like to paint into the canvas? What would you like to add, what experiences, achievements, people, successes, surprises would you like to see. When you look back over 2008 come next Christmas what do you want to see in your painting? Draw all these elements into your painting.

This is a lovely exercise as it not only acknowledges the past year but also then focuses on taking what you truly like about your life forward and adding the bits that will make it even better.

Happy 2008.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-12-07T10:14:00.000-08:00

A Bit of a Reality Check

I received a lovely email this week from a client who had just returned from an arduous hike up to Everest Base Camp. Not only did she have a fantastic if challenging experience and raise a large sum of money for charity, but also she came back with a hugely increased mental strength and said that she felt that if she could survive those extreme conditions she could survive pretty much anything. Not only that but she had realised that life was short and time moves quickly and so she wanted to get on and do what she can today rather than putting things off till tomorrow.

She also noted the generosity of the Nepalese people, who had very little to start with. They were so kind and helpful and it was so touching and she felt that we had a lot to learn from them. In all her trip, as well as being a fantastic challenge and experience, was a bit of reality check.

How often do we get caught up the dramas of our lives that we forget just what we do have and what we have achieved? So often we are focused on what we still wish to happen that we forget to acknowledge where we are, let alone be grateful. I know on reading her story that I felt that I could do with a bit of reality check.

With that reminder I remembered that I live in a lovely part of the world with a great partner who I love and doing work that gives me huge pleasure and satisfaction. Sure there is room for improvement, but where isn’t there? But by taking a moment to do this reality check I felt so much more grateful for my life, and optimistic about what is yet to come. Life is the journey, it is good to sometimes stop and look at the view.

Happy Weekend

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-11-30T09:03:00.001-08:00

Purpose can change

I was on a course last weekend, (a follow up to the Breakthrough to Success Course and we were looking at purpose and what that actually meant in our life. Many people speak about purpose and it has always been something that I have felt is fundamental in focusing life and giving life deeper meaning.

However in this course I was greeted by a new way of looking at purpose that opened up the possibilities immensely and helped many people past the barrier of identifying their own purpose.

It was put to us that purpose can change. It is not something that is given to us before we incarnate, a package wrapped up with a bow that we come in with. That immediately blew out of the water the idea that some people had, that they ‘hadn’t been given their purpose’ and were now lost and wandering in the wilderness looking for it somewhere. It also helped those who thought that they had yet to receive their purpose like it was going to come by registered mail one day.

No, purpose was purely what we wanted it to be and it can change as we change. In fact, when you come to look at it like that of course it will. As we go through life we change, our beliefs change, our desires change, we mature in outlook (thank goodness!) and so our purpose grows with us too. In the course we were encouraged to revisit our purpose and refine it every few years. In fact not only allow our purpose to change but also our vision and mission too. When I thought about this in light of the Law of Attraction, and how we live in an ever expanding Universe in which our desires constantly expand, then it makes sense that our purpose will expand too.

It was so freeing to create a purpose for Now. (When you think of it Now is actually all we have anyway - but that’s another blog.) To not have to know all that is to come, and fear that if we come up with the wrong purpose now that we are stuck with it, even if it no longer fits in the future. How freeing to know that it can change! It can serve us well for this moment and if, in the future, things evolve for us that it too can evolve with us.

So, if you haven’t voiced your purpose before, maybe for fear of getting it wrong, you can now. You can touch in and see what you feel is your purpose right now and know that that’s all you need to know. Purpose can help us so much in deciding what direction to move in, this new way of looking at it allows you to get going.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to setting your purpose and focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-11-16T07:44:00.001-08:00

Nothing to say!

I have sat down at my computer three times already this week to write this blog and each time although I had an inkling of the subject matter they all just turned out to be little rants at the world.

I then wrote about having rants at the world but that wasn’t very inspiring either!

So this week I just want to offer you a beautiful peaceful image and invite you to take a few moments to be with yourself, allow yourself to drop into the image be fine with whatever comes.

Happy weekend

Love Jessica

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-11-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

I don’t have to get it right!

OK, this is truly a big picture blog today because it was a personal aha moment as I was running round the stadium keeping my faithful body fit and healthy.

I was listening to the teachings of Abraham but interestingly it wasn’t anything in particular that Abraham was saying, I think it was more that I was listening with an ear to find out what I was doing wrong and how I could do it better.

In that moment I had what I can only be described as a download – I felt this statement come into my body and change from something I had intellectually known to something I physically felt and understood deep within.

I don’t have to get it right!

I don’t have to do anything in particular to ensure that I get this lifetime right. I can crash and burn this whole lifetime and it doesn’t matter a dime. In the bigger picture of my soul evolution this lifetime is but a blip on the horizon. Nothing in this life is that important. The only thing that I have to do with this life is to experience it to the fullest at any given moment, be true to myself and enjoy the ride.

Some people might find these statements irresponsible and fanciful and come up with lots of different reasons why I have to get it right. And, from a limited ‘this life’ perspective all the arguments will sound very persuasive. However I did warn you that this was a bigger picture blog!

From the bigger picture perspective this statement – I don’t have to get it right – is absolutely true. Since that moment I have been skipping (metaphorically) like a carefree child all week. There is nothing to prove, nothing to get right, it is how it is and if I just tend to my vibration and move it up the scale towards love (Source, God, The Self, The Universe) then the rest will be what it is. Make peace with where you are in life, live the statement “I am where I am and it’s ok”

How could embracing and living this truth be for you? What would your mental field look like if you embodied this and approached life from this direction? Worth considering at least, especially if you like skipping.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-11-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Puzzles…

We are in the middle of a jigsaw puzzle right now, one of those fun cartoon ones with everything happening in all corners of the puzzle. Made me think about life.

Life is a puzzle and it is fun to put the pieces together. Sometimes we can stare and stare at it and not see where the next piece is, and then when we come back with fresh eyes, there it is standing out from all the other pieces just waiting to be put into the right slot.

Puzzles are a one by one game. Piece by piece we put the whole picture together and sometimes it looks as though there are not enough pieces, but in the end there is always the exact amount that we need. Sometimes one piece doesn’t look as though it fits at all, but when you try it and maybe turn it upside down, hey presto it fits perfectly.

Some puzzles are more difficult than others and that fine ‘cos some people like hard ones and others like to do the easy ones. Even in a single puzzle there are always tricky parts, but that’s when a friend can come and help out and do the bits we don’t do too well.

Seems to me that life is just like a jigsaw puzzle and even this simple game can teach us something. In playing this puzzle game this week I realised that I have all the bits, they all will fit neatly in place at the right time even if I can't see them at this moment in time. All I have to do is have fun fitting it together.

Happy puzzling…!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to put together the puzzle you want please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like

2007-10-26T05:46:00.001-07:00

A Wider Perspective

Just got back from a wonderful week coaching a course called The Big Stretch up in the north of Spain in an area called the Picos de Europa. It is a wonderful area and we take our participants up in to the mountain and hike in the high peaks as well as kayaking along the river down towards the sea.

I have done this for a few years now and it is always a great reminder that when we change perspective it is easier to get new ideas on old problems. So often we look at problems from the same angle again and again and simply cannot see a new way through. Looking at our world, or even the world, from a different perspective helps.

Add being out in nature to a new perspective and you have a double whammy for solutions to arise. One year we were walking in a huge gorge, an awe inspiring landscape which begs you to think big. We were watching a mountain goat run down what looked like a near vertical slope and I ask the person I was with to take in the whole scene. He did and after a while I asked him what he got from it, and he said, keep my eye on where I wish to go and trust that I have the capabilities. It gave him the gateway to move forward.

So, are you stuck in looking at your life from one perspective only? What could you do to change perspective? It might be go hiking up mountains, or take a walk somewhere new, or it could be as simple as standing on your desk and seeing your office from a different place (watch Dead Poets Society for a great example of that). Whatever it is just give it a try, you will find that it can offer you new ways of being.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to create the life you want please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

2007-10-12T00:35:00.000-07:00

When would (now) be a good time to start?

I recently heard this question on the breakthrough course I attended and it struck me as a very powerful question. I have taken many seminars and courses over the years and learnt many tools to help me handle and change things in my life. Some I have used, some I haven’t, others I have known I should have used but never quite managed to get myself started. They all sound such a good idea at the time but life got in the way.

Sound familiar? It is all very well knowing these things but we need to take the next step forward to use them in our lives. Case in point: I was speaking with a client a couple of days ago and he had meditated quite consistently for 2 years. However that was 3 years ago and now he didn’t do it. I asked what he used to get from meditation, “peace, relaxation and an inner smile” he replied. So I then asked him when he’d like those things back into his life, “today” he said with a question and a smile in his voice.

Believe me he is not the only one to do this. I have known that I had tools in my toolbox that made my life easier. Things that would help me lift my mood, deal with challenging situations with a better perspective and break through beliefs. I am as guilty as the next for not using them.

Saying that however I did come back with some pretty useful tools from the seminar and a commitment to use them to the full and for the past two weeks I have been doing just that. And, I have to report, surprise, surprise, that it works! Each time I have noticed a limiting decision get in the way of what I want to do, or where I wish to go with my life, I have used a process to help move me on. I have also realised that it not just that I have a tool to address certain issues, but I have also found that I feel better about myself for making the effort to use them. Not only has this made life flow with more ease, but also I feel that I am consciously choosing the path of my life.

So, when would (now) be the time to start for you to use all the tools you have in your toolbox? Do you have some that you know would help you in your everyday life, but you still don’t include them? Maybe you have had a feeling for a while that you could do with some new, revived tools to aid you through the journey. Whatever your circumstances this is just a reminder - choose to use the tools!

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in this blog please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to create the life you want with vision please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or email me

2007-10-05T08:49:00.001-07:00

The Universe Rewards Action

So much is talked about the Law of Attraction and I truly do believe that how we feel and what we focus on has a strong magnetic effect in what happens in our lives. However, we also need the next step, which is action. There is no point sitting wishing for things if you are unwilling to take action.

Sometimes this action is clear, do X and Y will ensue. Great, and easy in a way, it is simply (!) a matter of doing it. The path is clear, the outcome pretty straight forward and we can commit to it without too much trouble.

However it can also be that the action we are require to take is a leap of faith. This is the kind of action that is driven from within; an overwhelming compulsion to do something even if you don’t know the outcome or ‘how’ something might work. When we commit to something another powerful dynamic is sparked and we become more resourceful than we might ever have thought. New opportunities can also come our way just from the process of commitment.

A friend of mine recently took a seminar with the intention of kick-starting her business. On the second day she decided to book a follow-up seminar that would help her decide which way to go and how to get there. She didn’t know where the money was going to come from or how it was going to turn out but the strong feeling was that she wanted to make a commitment to her future. She also stated that she wanted to see success within a week. The energy that she gained from signing up was huge, her enthusiasm at least doubled and her belief in the possibility of creating what she had dreamed of became so strong it carried forward. She could leave the seminar with renewed belief, vigour and excitement. If that wasn’t enough two days after the seminar she received a call inviting her onto a project that she thought was long dead! Money flowing in already.

She took action, followed her heart and committed to her own future. The Universe rewards such action. Where are holding back from action? What has your heart been telling you to do? What action or commitment could you make to move your life towards your dreams? Go for it, the Universe truly does reward action and commitment, I’ve seen and experienced it. Heart in mouth jump off the cliff.

If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in this blog please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how you can create your life with vision please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or email me

2007-09-27T07:06:00.001-07:00

Controlling Others

Thinking about what to write today I was reflecting on what is happening in Burma. The huge need for control is one that is echoed around the globe and also within our own lives too. We condemn the people who try to control whole nations, but perhaps it is also a time we can look a little closer to home, where does control feature in our lives?

Partner controlling partner, parents controlling child, friend controlling friend, child controlling parent, and on it goes. We all have our own idea around the issue of control and so I leave it to you to see if this question brings a new awareness in your life.

I also want to take an opportunity to invite you to sign a petition supporting those people in Burma who are peacefully protesting for their freedom. Click here to go to a website that does great work in making a world voice heard.

Thank you

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how life fulfilment coaching can help you be more present in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or email me

2007-09-21T00:56:00.001-07:00

Full stop ahead

I had an enforced stop recently, a broken nose that has slowed me down. Hitting the plate glass window was the metaphorical stop (quite dramatic really) but I have come to see that it was part of a bigger play.

Sometimes things happen in our lives that seem annoying, you wish you could turn the clock back ten seconds and replay that bit, but often when we have the gift of hindsight we can see that it does interweave with the fabric of our lives.

My coming to a full stop was part of a bigger need to slow down and stop running ahead. I was so focused on discovering what was next I wasn’t living what was now. Again the “live in the present’ message is loud and clear, be here now, enjoy every minute whatever I am doing.

By being this still I have come to see that I am still driven by a need to move forward, achieve, do bigger and better things. Now I am not saying that we should not want to move forward, but what I have seen is that we need to examine the motivation for needing the movement. By focusing on the future what is not being seen in the present? This also ties in with satisfaction, we rarely are slow enough to be satisfied with our everyday lives. Sure if we consciously stop and ask ourselves how we feel right now we can touch in with that satisfaction, but we aren’t aware of it all the time. We need to fall in love with the life we have.

By becoming this slow in my life I am more in touch with that satisfaction than I have ever been. Joseph Campbell’s “Follow Your Bliss” phrase seems more doable now. The funny thing is that right now follow your bliss is not a big production in my life. I’m not doing anything huge, or new or exciting, I am more keeping things ticking over; doing what comes. However, by being still within that scenario I am finding my bliss in the mundane. At first I worried that I’d never ‘get going’ again but I have come to realise that out of this slowness will arise a new direction and I’ll be ready for it when it comes.

I don’t recommend you follow my route of a broken nose to enforce a slow down – quite painful and the bruises are impressive! I do recommend you ask yourself, do I need to slow my life down (or slow down within my life), do I need to relax back into what is happening in my everyday life and find the bliss in mundane? It can feel challenging but gifts within that space are huge.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how life fulfilment coaching can help you be more present in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or email me

2007-09-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

Inspiring Vision

Well we arrived back from our road trip – over 8000 kms through Europe taking us to visit friends in France, Holland, Denmark, Germany and back through France again. It was a fantastic (if not slightly crazy) experience.

One location that stayed with me for a while was the Millau Bridge in France. I’m not normally a great one for modern things – give me medieval towns any day, but the vision and boldness of this bridge just wowed me. It is tallest bridge in the world and over 2.5 kms in length stretching out over the Tarn valley. What was so interesting was seeing all the other entrants for the design. They were all very ‘normal’, not so inspiring and to be honest a bit boring. The one that stands there today is awe inspiring. The lines of this bridge, the way it seems to flow, the sheer magnitude of the technological achievement is huge.

In the video showing the building of this bridge there was a moment (amongst many) when they moved the two decks from opposite directions together, 245 ms above the valley floor (there was the obligatory bottle of champagne that got smashed as the two pieces came together) exactly, to the millimetre. Fantastic to see, but also it was exactly what you’d expect.

The vision of this bridge is a great example of going out on a limb. There was no playing safe, no tempering things down to control, just simple pure vision and the heart to see it built.

We so often water down our visions, make them safer, keep them within our comfort zone and then wonder why we don’t feel alive, fulfilled, inspired. Well that bridge was an example to me that to create a thing of great beauty, to fulfil a dream, to make something that is the full expression of yourself, you simply have to go out on limb. Have your heart in your mouth and know, that with that level of focus and creativity, that it simply has to meet in the middle.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how you can create your life with vision please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or email me

2007-08-02T05:59:00.000-07:00

Happy Holidays!

Just short blog this week in between the finishing off of tasks and packing! Holiday time is upon us and we are going to play on a European road trip from Spain to Denmark and back.

I told a client about this trip in our conversation this morning and he said “how wonderful, I love those kinds of trips, just stopping off at a service station is an adventure”.

What a wonderful attitude to have about life. Each and everything we do, even the mundane things, can be approach as an adventure. A new experience in a new moment in life.

So with this thought in mind I offer you the idea of approaching everything in life as an adventure, of seeing the new in the everyday, of being so present that it will feel like new.

Happy August everyone, have great adventures and I’ll see you in September

Much love

Jessica

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-07-26T05:07:00.001-07:00

Fighting Reality

You may have read or heard of the work of Byron Katie in her book Loving What Is. In it she talks about how we fight the reality of certain situations when all the evidence in front of our eyes is to the opposite.

I saw a huge example of this happening this week when a friend called to ask for help as an old partner had come back into her life and was refusing to leave her house. Not only refusing to leave but also refusing to accept that a long-standing relationship was over. We went along to help mediate the situation and it was painful to watch someone in such distress as they fought with reality. He stood there and kept repeating what he wanted to believe rather than what was the truth, and I saw that he thought if he said it often enough it would become true. It was such a stark illustration of how powerful our minds can be when we get hold of an idea. Just a as dog worries at a bone our minds tussle with a thought and cannot accept what is happening in plain sight.

What was challenging in this situation was that however the facts were presented, whatever way we tried to help him see that what he wanted was simply not going happen his mind would not let him hear it. He was deaf to what was obvious to others around him. It was like he was fighting blindfolded, his thoughts blinding him to what was true. It gave me a great insight into how intractable we can be as human beings. I saw how strong our ability is to fight with the reality of a situation and how negative an effect that can have on our lives.

By creating this fight sure, we cause problems for others like my friend, but even more we create problems and negativity for ourselves. The pain is ours, the stress and anxiety is ours, and the fear and anger is all ours. And, we have created it through our refusal to accept what is.

It was real reminder to be vigilant for where I fight reality, to watch out for those times that I am shouting NO at something that simply is. Instead I want to be more open to working with reality rather than fighting it.

Yesterday I had one of those days that I might have fought with in the past, hassly stuff like cars breaking down and not having the right papers in the car. In the past I would have had a right old rant, instead, we took deep breaths, worked with what was happening and in the end it all turned out well and really easily. A good start to a new resolution.

Have you had situations recently where you’ve been fighting with what is? Can you see a way you could stop resisting and start working with rather than against? Please do share your experiences with others; it is hearing how others handle these kinds of situations that we all learn.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with Alert in the subject line.

2007-07-20T07:57:00.001-07:00

Being true to you

I was thinking about what has been a recurrent theme this week with my clients as that often informs the content of this blog. There didn’t seem to be one specific idea but as I thought about it more deeply what did seem highlighted was the theme of being true to you.

With one person it was being true to themselves in following a strong gut feeling, an intuition, that although would create a tricky conversation would, in the end, save hours or even years of heartbreak.

With another it was learning to be open and honest in conversation, no more hesitant speaking thinking they were being clear but in fact were smudging what was being said for fear of a consequence. This person had learnt that in fact it made life much easier when they spoke out clearly and confidently. It saved ruffled feathers and made work much more efficient and fun. And, it wasn’t so scary as originally thought. Again this was an illustration of being true to ourselves.

Another person learnt that if they stayed open and didn’t play the ‘pleasing others’ game they drew towards them genuine and loving people. In this they had managed to break and old pattern of unavailable but needy people in their life and draw in new people who resonated with their new open way of being.

In all these situations it illustrated that if we allow old fears of being true to us, fears of us not being enough get in the way, life can become complicated and unsatisfactory. It shifts when we finally say I am great as I am and have no need to hide any of me.

Are there bits of you hiding right now, playing hide and seek? Could you let them out to play? Who would you draw into your life if all of you showed up?

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

If you would like to explore how coaching could support in creating the life you want please email me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com

2007-07-12T10:04:00.001-07:00

Surrender

Just got back to Spain after three weeks in a rather rainy and cold Switzerland. Forgot the warm clothes too which was a lesson in being more aware and digging out my memory of rainy summers, but that’s another story. We arrived back into 37 degrees C and a high humidity - a little bit of a shock. Not because we don’t know that Spain is hot, but because we normally work up to these levels of heat rather than suddenly enter it.

So what has that to do with surrender? Well I had to remember that the way I deal with the heat (and believe me I like it, but it is an adjustment) is that I have to surrender to it. I have to stop fighting it. The first year here when I first encountered the heat I realised that this was it for about three months. I could either accept it or fight it. Fighting felt rather hot work so surrender I did.

In that surrender I found an inner coolness. I found that I could act appropriately for the climate and give myself the extra time to accomplish what I needed to do. With the lack of fight I found I had more energy and could actually accomplish more, I could find a new way of dealing with things. So how does this translate to dealing with other situations?

Surrender to what is happening in any given situation can give you the space and coolness to see a new way of handling something. It gives us back our rationality rather than the childish fighting against what is. By surrendering we can take the heat out of something and see it in a different light. Now don’t get me wrong I am not talking about being a doormat, but rather changing our position so that we can actually take responsibility for our part in any given occurrence. We immediately put ourselves into the present moment and that, always without exception, gives us the next action.

So, are you fighting something right now? Are you pushing against something that is simply immovable? Would surrendering to it and seeing it from different place help? Perhaps you can allow it to flow through and out of your life by stopping the resistance you feel. How much cooler would that be?

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-07-05T06:27:00.001-07:00

Saying Goodbye

Not sure what this weeks topic is, nothing seems to stand out unless I think about a recurring conversation I’ve had with my clients this week which has been around how life changes around us as we grow and change.

The main feeling has been one of saying goodbye to people in our lives. One person said to me that they went to a party and stood on the sidelines and they could no more go up to the old friends who were there as they could approach him. It was as though something had shifted and they no longer touched on a vibrational level.

Similarly another person told me how he had been invited to a party with old friends and how in the past he would have gone but felt no impulse to make the effort and drive the couple of hours it would have taken to join in, although in the past it wouldn’t have even been a question.

So why is it? Why do we find that people leave our lives for seemingly no reason at all? My understanding is that as we follow our self-enquiry, as we look inside and learn about ourselves we begin to vibrate at a different density. It is our initial vibration that attracted people into our lives in the first place, and so as we grow and change so does our vibration. It is like we cannot touch those who do not move in the same direction as us. Often people will find it sad and difficult and try to hold onto the old friends. It is also possible that there may be some people which they make the decision that they want to keep a contact with even if it feels different, they are important to them and worth the effort. Others will simply slip away and the best thing we can do is to let them. For when one person slips off our screen another can enter and we can draw towards us new people who do resonate with us and who do bring a new energy into our lives. It is these people that we now attract and it is these that we can now not only receive from but give to. With them we will grow, open new doors and explore new heights.

So if you are feeling sad at moving on from old friends just take a few moments to inwardly thank them for walking the road with you thus far and wave them off with love, and turn, and look and see who is coming towards you, who you are attracting into your life.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-06-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Take Time to Smell the Roses

Very relevant for me right now as I am staying in Switzerland for a few weeks and the gardens round here are full of roses. Have I stopped and smelt them yet? Well, err, no actually I haven’t. Been too busy you see, not sure what with exactly what but I’ve felt busy, I believed I was very busy.

I went to a friend's house this week and we did a mini workshop on beliefs. It was a very interesting evening and I came away ideas that stuck with me. Our reality is not only created by our thoughts but more importantly by our beliefs. If we believe something to be true then we make it so. In other words we look around for evidence to prove our belief. This might come from an experience we have had in the past or from what we’ve been told over and over again. Either way we go out of our way to prove our belief so we can believe it. However once we can see this process we can also see how to unprove it, or let it go.

So here I was feeling very busy but not really being so, only believing that I should be. How’s that for perverse?! I realised that it was my belief that I should be busy that gave me the feeling of chaos and not the actual circumstances around me. In fact once I saw the belief for the falsehood that it was I could drop it, and I realised that I had a very lovely week ahead; just the right level of busyness (or business) and time to smell the roses.

By taking time to smell the roses we bring life back into the present moment, we stop and appreciate all that around us, we see our world with more clarity and can act from that still place inside instead of from a belief that does not serve us at all.

What are you doing in your life from a belief that doesn’t serve you? What things have you made so important that you’ve created a whole belief around it? Have you smelt the roses recently, even if just for five minutes? Go on, it’s lovely out there!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-06-14T06:03:00.000-07:00

The Only Person Who Counts Is You.

I was talking with someone a couple of days ago about how we need to focus on ourselves and how we feel and he said that it sounded pretty selfish to him. And, I can see how from the outside looking in, it might sound that way.

But then again if you think about it, the only thing you actually have any control over is how you feel. You cannot influence how others feel, that’s their choice, you can’t change the way people feel about you either, that too is their choice. It is our choice what we feel about what someone is thinking about us. We sometimes seem to believe that we can be responsible for how others feel around us. In fact all we can do is be an example by the clarity of our actions and emotions. We are all vibrational beings. Only we can influence where on vibrational scale we live. Sure someone can come into our world intent on cheering us up, but in truth they have no direct influence on our experience unless we give them permission to do so.

If we choose to be ‘cheered up’ and have their antics be the reason for that cheering up it is still our responsibility. They did not enter our energy field and take spanner and change something within us. We chose to focus our energy elsewhere and in doing so our vibration became lighter and more joyful.

So, it is really true that the only person who counts is you. You are the only one who can influence how you feel and if you want to spread a little light, love and happiness in the world then the only thing you can do is be the curator of your own emotional state. You have to come first if you wish to be the example of how to be joyful in the world. You have to count if you wish to make a change. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Do you put you first? Are you willing to be ‘selfish’ enough to put yourself at the top of the list? If so then you obviously have a lot to give to others. If not, then how about focusing on your vibration for a week and putting that first, I think you’ll find that your experience of your world and that around you will shift. In your world, in your Universe, you count.

I’m away next week arranging a surprise 70th birthday party! I’ll be back the week after so see you then. If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-06-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

Spreading Kindness and Love

I have just received in the post my copy of the Cygnus Review, the monthly magazine of Cygnus Books (www.cygnus-books.co.uk), which is a great resource for all books to guide, uplift and inspire.

In the editorial they told a lovely story of a child planting two runner bean seeds and feeding and watering them, one with the words “you are a fool” and the other with the words “you are beautiful”. Although the one with the words you are foolish germinated first the beautiful bean grew stronger and bigger and larger than the foolish bean. In fact the foolish bean stopped after 12 inches and then the roots withered and the leaves yellowed.

Now this idea came from the work of Masaru Emoto (The Secret of Water available at Cygnus books) who has done many experiments with water photographing water crystals after exposing them to different words. The ones exposed to love or similar thoughts were beautiful, the ones exposed to any form of negativity we all ugly and mis-formed.

It is a timely minder that not only what we say or write carries vibration, but also what we think too. There has been a lot of focus recently about monitoring our thoughts in the light of what we create for ourselves, but how about watching out what we think in light of others? The water experiments show that our thoughts have power over water - and remember, we are all over 70% water, what does that mean when we direct a particular thought?

One way to be in line with our Source is to stop the comparison between others and ourselves. Today I caught myself feeling superior to some people I didn’t even know (they had bumped into me in the street and ignored it – nothing huge). I noticed my feeling straight away and instantly stopped the mental rant and sent blessings instead. It was small thing, but a start in the right direction. And, what’s more it felt good, it felt loving and I felt more in touch with my true self.

So by sending love, by being vigilant about what we send out vibrationally, not only benefits the recipients of our thought as they receive a positive vibration, but also benefits us as we become more in line with our truth.

So, please, do spread some love and kindness today, send out the vibration of goodness and if you want any encouragement just think of the small, runted runner bean trying to grow under the barrage of negativity, it’s a powerful image.

Much love and many blessings to all.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-06-01T04:43:00.000-07:00

The Stories in our Mind (and how to ignore them!)

I know I’ve talked before about the power of our minds and how they can take us off on a tangent, but yesterday was a great case in point and so I think it is worth mentioning again.

Tragedy! My email program completely crashed during a back-up session (I have since learnt close ALL programs before backing up) and to my horror I thought I had lost all my client folders. Not only that, but when I looked through my old back up files I couldn’t find what thought should be the file with all the folders in it. Double Tragedy, not only had I lost the current work but also all my work for the past two years.

My mind went into spin; I saw hassle and problems and began to feel that panicky feeling. Then, with the help of my partner, I managed to calm down enough to breath. This was step number one to getting back to a good state.

Step two was a reality check, ok, so I had lost the files, but most of the important stuff was elsewhere in some form or another. I had also lost marketing contacts, but if they were going to be good they would come chasing me anyway. I was then reminded of the bigger picture perspective, if I needed to have the contact details of people I would get them and the others, well they obviously weren’t necessary. This is coming from the ‘everything is perfect ‘train of thought, which, when I’m not panicking I believe!

So gradually and without taking too much time the story of the tragedy in mind reduced to just a hassle that could be overcome quite easily. It all depended on what spin I gave it. Once I reached that space it wasn’t too hard a stretch to get back to feeling light, easy and happy with the day. We finished the day with a walk on the beach (always good for the soul) and gazed at the blue moon and sent manifesting vibrations out into the world. All was well.

The whole experience, which lasted about two hours, gave me two insights. Practice does indeed make perfect. Not that I can turn around apparent tragedies in an instant but I am a darn site faster than before. And, becoming present and not letting the stories develop really helped. I also realised that because I have been focusing on watching my mind, catching the negativity and actively working on changing it, I was much more open to having someone talk me through a reality check. Before I’d have not been able to hear someone tell me that everything is perfect, but this time (after a little persuasion) I could.

This game called life is so much a journey, we can make up the stories and live out the tragedies or we can choose to leave the stories behind and get on with what is. We are like blank pages, what are you going to write on yours?

Happy thoughts!

P.S. The problem was cured this morning my pressing one key as I opened the program, so it really was a story!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-05-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Lighten up!

I was watching one of the funniest DVD’s I have seen for a while last night and it’s core message was lighten up, feel good! This wasn’t a comedy movie but a DVD of the Teachings of Abraham about the Law of Attraction in Action. It was funny because Abraham loving and teasingly poked fun at our seriousness and how ‘life and death’ we seem to make this life.

In one section Abraham said (and I paraphrase) “we have a lot of laughs as we watch you make such a big hairy heavy weather over what is so small and insignificant if you could only see it from our perspective”.

Now this may seem a slightly callous statement, especially if you are challenged right now and feel poor me, what am I to do, my life is so awful. The problem is that this victim space is like living in tunnel vision. I remember in the ashram one of the teachers asking how relevant our concerns and worries would be in a hundred years from now. Kind of puts it in perspective doesn’t it? And that’s what we need a new perspective. It is a matter of choice, we can make heavy weather or we can put our focus elsewhere and change our experience.

We simply need to feel good. Each rocket of desire has begun manifesting in the unseen, all we have to do is maintain our vibration to match that desire. How, we all cry?

Well the hundred-year perspective is one way but I realised that it is also just practise. Catch the negative thought; make the effort to change it (and there are many ways to do this, see Ask and it is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks) and gradually it will become second nature. If we do this conscientiously for 30 days our life will change, if only because we will be happier and lighter people. Heaven knows what we could also manifest along the way.

Find something that you can use to put a smile on your face. A friend of mine uses the bizarre category on YouTube. It always makes her laugh and immediately that changes how she feels. Sound too simply? Well that’s just us believing that it must be hard. We could lighten up with that too!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-05-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Relishing the experience

How often in our busy busy world do we stop and relish the experience we are having right now? A lot has been talked about being present, being in the now and yet it is another thing to relish the experience.

Not only are we in the moment (we have to be to even notice the experience we are having) but we then have to actually slow down enough to truly notice what is happening. I love the word relish. When I say it to myself my mouth starts to water, the word has the power to bring on a physical sensation. So take that feeling of relishing a taste and apply it to an experience. What does that tell you?

To relish an experience is to allow yourself to revel in it, to enjoy it to the full, to delight in it, to take full pleasure from it. It suggests that it is almost a sensual experience, one that we can relax into. I write about relishing this week as I had something click within me about it. Relishing the moment. For a while now I have been saying to myself that my optimum week is where I condense my coaching down into fewer days and free up some time. This is free time over and above my schedule for other work related tasks like writing, marketing, working the Internet. This is just free time in my working week.

With this time I can choose to do anything I like. It might be work related if I want or going to do a fun activity, or learning something new, or simply being with friends. Or, and here’s the extra special bit, it might the simple joy of doing nothing. I hit the jackpot this week in that my week came together exactly as I would wish for in the best-case scenario and, hey presto, a free Friday appeared. At first, because I am not used to these free days I started to feel itchy, what ‘should’ I do with the time? How ‘should’ I fill it?

It was then the idea of simply relishing came to me and immediately I felt so good. I could sit back and enjoy, no feelings of guilt or a need to fill time. Just enjoying.

How cool is that? What can you relish this week? How can you remind yourself to stop and smell the flowers? It can happen in a minute, you just need to pause long enough.

Enjoy!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-05-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

Pesky Planets!

Oddly enough I have spoken to quite a few of people this week who have felt out of sorts. Kind of uncomfortable in their skin, emotional, cross, tearful and generally not happy. Then a friend who is a planet watcher told us all that lots has been happening in the heavens and more is to come!

For example, Sun-Neptune square (Saturday evening) followed by an explosive Mars-Pluto confrontation (Sunday morning). And you still may be feeling Jupiter-Uranus face-off and this morning's Venus-Saturn 45-degree tussle. Now for some this may make totally sense and although I don’t understand the technicalities I do believe and experience the influences these planets have.

However what I found interesting in all the conversations I had with people about the recent days, is that as soon as I said that some pesky planets are playing up a kind of relief came over them. The general consensus of opinion seemed to be ‘oh well that’s ok then’. It didn’t change their experiences but it certainly changed their attitude towards them.

So I ask, is it just that we had an explanation for the upset? Not particularly although that can help. I think it was more that it helped people understand that it was temporary. That this would move through and move on and we would feel better.

I began to use this mode of thinking once I’d gotten the idea - admittedly it took a while and a spilling of face cream all over my trousers! Interestingly enough even though my crazy, full, stressy week continued up till this minute, as long as I kept on reminding myself that it was temporary and that things will change and peace will return, I managed to handle all the pulls on my time with far more grace and tranquility.

So often when feeling unhappy, crazy, negative, stressed, angry, any ‘not good’ feeling we forget that life does indeed move on and that where we are right now is a temporary experience. So if the pesky planets are playing havoc with your week let this be a little relief, they will move on their way and normal service will be resumed. And if it is not even a planet playiyng around we can still remind ourselves that it still is temporary.

Happy Days!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with Alert in the subject line.

2007-05-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

Resistance is useless!

This reminds me of those old black and white films when the baddie is telling the goodie that resistance is useless! And in some way it is a good analogy, if we want to be a goodie, to have our lives flow, then resistance is useless.

What does this mean? Well I realised this week that we are in resistance when we get in our own way, when we stop allowing the universal flow into our lives. Take my case in point. Over the past few months I had been working on increasing my client numbers and the number of enquiries had been growing each week. To do this I have followed the theory of one inspired thought (see One Inspired Thought posted February 2nd 2007) and had been doing the things that I had been inspired to do daily. In other words no ‘shoulds’, ‘ought tos’ or ‘have tos’. Simply flowing with the energy and inspiration.

As the enquiries increased I began to try harder, to think of new things to do and forgot the inspired idea theory. Gradually things slowed down and I couldn’t see why; I was still actioning ideas. Then, in a flash it came to me that I was in a space of trying to influence an outcome rather than do my part in the flow of the Universe. Having seen results I thought I could increase them by ‘doing’, I had gotten in the way. When I understood this I had an image come to mind. I saw clients seated at their computers about to send me an email and people about to dial my number, but it was as though someone had pressed the pause button on the remote control and they were stuck mid action. I realised that it was my trying to take hold of the situation that had caused this resistance.

Resistance occurs when we are not in a space of allowing. All we need to do to be in this space of allowing is to hold the vibration that resonates with what we wish to see happen in our lives. Nurture that good feeling. When I took control I lost the feeling, I became anxious and then tried even harder to rectify the situation.

Once I saw this resistance, and all these people poised to contact me, I could work on bring my vibration back in line with what I wished to have happen, I could visualise all the people coming off pause and writing their emails and dialling my number. I am very happy to report that it works; my enquiries this week have been the highest ever!

What pause button have you pressed recently? Where are you resisting the Universal flow in your life? Can you relax and start allowing instead? I can tell you it is worth it!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-04-28T04:11:00.000-07:00

Holding your state.

There is a famous poem by Rudyard Kipling that starts:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

And this embodies the theme for this week; keeping your state. How often are we in a good space and yet when someone near us loses their good state we follow suit. Part of living with the bigger picture in mind is being strong enough within to hold our inner state when the world around us goes haywire. One clue to handle these situations is to know that it is not personal. We might be involved simply by being in the same place at the same time, but it is not personal to us, it is not because of us.

For example a work colleague might be going through a tough time and being grumpy, negative and generally not good company. We can either allow ourselves to become effected by this energy and start being grumpy in unison, or we can remind ourselves that this energy that surrounds us is not actually anything to do with us. We didn’t create it and it is only personal to us if we make it personal. In other words it wasn’t any action on our part that created this feeling and therefore we do not have to take the ‘blame’ for it.

This might sound like a technicality but if we can simply have the phrase ‘don’t take it personally’ running through our minds it does help us to take a step back and see the situation for what it is. Someone other than ourselves is going through a challenging time and although we want to be empathetic and sympathetic we do not have to take it on, in fact the best support we can be is to hold our own space of equilibrium. In this way we mirror a different place and hold it for them to move towards.

Another useful tool in this particular box is for us to only focus on what we do like about the situation. Instead of nagging and asking them to stop their negative behaviour – which they obviously can’t or they would – we can simply focus on and acknowledge what we do like. So if they say or do something that improves the situation we can acknowledge it in some way, and the rest we simply leave be. By focusing on the positive we utilize the law of attraction and draw more towards us both.

So, if you are in a situation, be it with friends or your partner, at work or maybe within your family, remember that the best thing we can do for anyone around us who is having a hard time and feeling down is to hold our state, don’t take it personally and mirror an alternative way of being. That’s loving support.

If you would like to see the whole poem, If, go to:
http://www.swarthmore.edu/~apreset1/docs/if.html

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment; the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-04-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Windows of Opportunity

I had a conversation with a new client this week in which he felt very confused and uncertain about what the next step to take was. Plans that he had made had not come to fruition and unforeseen events had created yet more things to take into consideration when making his ‘next step’ decision.

Of course there are lots of practical steps you can take to help you make a ‘next step’ decision. List the pros and cons, look at the consequences of each path of action, see where one course of action will impact in another area of life, see where your passion lies. The more information you gather the easier it is to get a clearer picture of what is the best way forward.

However, there is another way of looking at these confusing times of indecision. That is to see them as windows of opportunity. Often we attract what we feel is a chaotic situation into our lives for a reason. The reason can be because hidden behind all the chaos is an opportunity. It may be an opportunity that you have not seen before or perhaps it is one that you haven’t been able to take up before now. Or maybe it is such a big change that you have avoided it again and again and it has once more presented itself to you. Either way, here you are in this uncertain space, and the gift in this is to see it for what it is. Nothing happens by chance, and if you can just slow down enough to take a good look around, you might discern what it is that is waiting for you. It is tempting to hurry a decision at times like these, but what I often tell my clients is to actually take more time. If needs be, put an interim solution in place so you have the luxury of time. These windows of opportunity can be very meaningful and need to be recognised as such.

So if you find yourself in a chaotic, confused place in your life recognise that it is an opportunity, and give yourself the space to reflect on your circumstances. Take time to dip into the quiet space of your mind and see what guidance you are given. Don’t be in a hurry to rush through to that feeling of safety, instead know that you are truly on the edge of a breakthrough, a moment in time when you can consciously choose something new and different. This is a time when you can head off in a direction that has been waiting for you, and an opportunity to finally see and step through the open window.

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with Alert in the subject line.

2007-04-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

Falling into the upward spiral.

I know that each of us is on a journey and many have dreams and wishes for what we’d like to create in our lives. We work towards building something new and more fulfilling, becoming a truer, higher version of ourselves, and are committed to the journey and the goal, whatever we deem that to be.

I asked a friend recently, “are you living the life of your dreams?” and she replied no, not yet, but I am enjoying what I am doing towards it. And this I think is a key to happiness. Yes we all have goals and dreams, but it is being present in today and loving today that gives us true living happiness. As Caroline Myss once said - fall in love with the life you’ve got.

In this way you enjoy the journey, live the journey and learn from the journey. At the same time your energy moves to a higher, finer vibration and you draw towards you more of what you like, more of what you enjoy. It is a wonderful upward spiral.

So today’s short and sweet message to you all is to see that your dreams all have one thing in common - to be happy, to feel fulfilled. So, by falling in love with the life you have, falling into the upward spiral, you make today the day of your dreams.

Happy Day!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment, the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or emailing me at jessica@jessicamcgregorjohnson.com with alert in the subject line.

2007-04-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Changing our minds

There has been a lot of discussion recently, in light of the world-sweeping movie The Secret, about the Law of Attraction. As with all ideas when people first come across it an excitement ripples through, however the key to using a law like this is perseverance. To keeping it working in your life after the initial enthusiasm wears off.

Why does it wear off? Well, we are rather like stately liners at sea, move the rudder and it still takes a while to change course. It is easy to get despondent if we cannot see the change of course immediately. Speaking about this with a few of my clients the main challenge most people talk about is keeping their thoughts on the positive. It is challenging when they don’t feel so good, when the day hasn’t gone so well and it all feels a bit flat. If you read the Teaching of Abraham with Esther & Jerry Hicks you will soon find out that the Law of Attraction works for our thoughts as well as many other things in our life.

If we are thinking sad, angry or frustrated thoughts we are not going to able to attract happy, joyful blissed out thoughts. They are too far apart and will jar with where we are right now. We will be unable to hold them. So, if you wish to use this law to move your emotional state towards happiness what is it that you can do?

Move your thoughts one step up the ladder. In other words if you are feeling angry perhaps you can move to frustrated. Or if you are feeling frustrated perhaps you could move towards optimistic. Each move up the ladder then draws more thoughts equal to this vibration. Once you are in the next vibration the law can then attract the following one. In this way we can move up the vibrational ladder towards happiness.

I have found that once you are aware of this idea it doesn’t take much time to progress. The more you use the Law of Attraction to draw towards you better and better thoughts, the less time it takes to bring yourself back into alignment with whatever you are wanting to create in your life.

So, next time you find yourself in an emotional state that does not correspond with what you want in your life ask yourself “what thoughts can I focus on right now? What would move me towards my goal?” As I say to many people, what have you got to lose? Plus, there is a large chance you’ll feel happier!

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2007-03-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

The Trickiness of the Mind…

Have you ever had a really great idea just drop into your mind, one that would be really fun to do, or an idea of how to address a tricky situation, or a new way you could be with someone, only to find that when you wanted to recall it, it had gone?

One of the things I always say to my coaching clients is to make an instant note of these insights, these inspired thoughts, or our mind will spirit them away. It is not enough remembering you had to remember something, the old ‘tie a piece of string around your finger trick’, you have to remember the details. Two days ago I had a really inspired idea for the blog and, not following my own rules, didn’t write it down. I can remember actually saying to myself ‘I don’t need to write it down, it is such a cool idea I’ll never forget that!” And here I am wracking my brains for an inkling of what it might have been.

Why does this happen? Well, it has been my experience that as we grow and evolve as spiritual beings we also have a part of us, the ego, that does not want us to change very much. It is very happy with the status quo and feels quite threatened when we invoke change. It is almost as though it is on the lookout for any new idea that may involve change and, if it can, will snatch away the idea and bury it out of sight. This doesn’t mean the idea you had wasn’t a good one, for example the blog idea was brilliant - well I thought so :-) but it is sometimes that we simply cannot hang onto the ideas. They are on the edge of our consciousness, just as we can’t remember a dream two hours after waking even though it might be crystal clear when we woke.

So what’s the lesson in all this? Start to become aware of these drops of wisdom that come into your mind. And, know your own fallibility and write them down. A couple of months ago I wrote about the idea of following the One Inspired Thought. This is a reminder to capture them. You can’t follow them unless you can remember them. These Inspired Thoughts are often instrumental for change in your life. They can give you a way forward when you’re stuck, they can show you that you can create what you wish for, they can lead you to places you can’t even imagine right now.

So, carry a notebook with you, have a book by your bed for when you wake up with a great idea, or just tell someone you trust so they can help you remember. If you articulate the thought in some way it will stay in this dimension, if not it might just dissolve, be sneaked away by our personal saboteur, or be lost in the busi-ness of life. Capture it, act on it and see your world change.

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2007-03-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Take 100% Responsibility for your Life

This idea is not a new one but it has been talked about a lot recently in light of the DVD The Secret and many other presentations in the media etc.

I was listening to a Jack Canfield recording and he told a great story that I feel answered the question that is often asked “How can I take responsibility for something that happens to me?”

An earthquake wiped out a freeway into Los Angles a while ago and driving into the city was horrible, long queues moving nowhere. During the chaos a local TV interviewed two people. One guy was complaining and arguing about the situation. All he could do was blame and he was very upset and having a terrible day. The second guy was sitting in his car very content. He had brought food and coffee, had a book to read and music to listen to, a warm rug in case it got cold. He had left home at 5.00am so he felt he had done all he could to get to work and that his boss couldn’t have asked more of him. He was dealing with the situation with calm forethought and a happy demeanour.

This simple story illustrates that you can take full responsibility in the way that you respond to a situation. After all, the dictionary definition of responsibility is 'the ability to respond’. The guy who was happy with his situation was dealing with the same set of circumstances that the guy who was unhappy. He had just responded differently. Instead of being the victim of the traffic jam he had done everything he could to ensure his experience was going to be ok. He had taken responsibility for his life in that moment.

Each time we complain/blame or are resentful about something or someone we are not taking responsibility for our lives. We can choose to act differently. We can choose to see the best in every situation, and respond accordingly.

I was contemplating this for a few days when I received some mail in the post in which one of my tax forms had been wrongly presented. Now it wasn’t my ‘fault’ I had actually filled them in correctly, but still I now had to deal with the fallout. In Spain, a foreign country and foreign language this is not the easiest. In the past this would have driven me mad and I would have spent the most part of a day bitching and complaining about the incompetence of everyone else but me! However, because I had been focusing on taking 100% responsibility I remembered, and in that moment chose to respond differently. I was calm, did not get angry and just worked out what I had to do and who I needed to talk with to sort it out. I have to report that never, in all the five years I have lived here has my experience with Spanish Officialdom been so easy. I responded with ease, and so did the tax office. By taking responsibility for my life in that moment I create a far better scenario than my blame/complain attitude of the past would have done.

Where in your life do you blame? Where are you holding resentment? What do you complain about? If you do any of these things you are not taking 100% responsibility. Until we do we cannot be the master of our lives. Fancy giving it a try? You have nothing to lose and, from my experience, a lot to gain. Your world is in your hands.

2007-03-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

The Ego and us

I was having this kind of grappling conversation on the net today with a friend about the ego and why it was how it was, and was it an illusion, and why do we have it, what is it’s purpose and maybe we should just get rid of it!

I was reminded of a story I heard from Ramakrishna, a highly respected Indian saint who lived in the 1800’s. He saw the ego as the coachman, and the Soul as the owner of a coach and horses. Because the coachman (ego) cannot see the owner of the coach (soul) sitting quietly inside he believes he is totally in charge. However, as the owner gradually but firmly makes himself known, the coachman, maybe reluctantly at first, relinquishes and drops the fantasy of control and eventually becomes content with the role of servant. It is the same with us. Our ego is sure that it totally runs our show, but gradually as we become more aware of our spiritual nature, our Soul, we can choose to come from our heart rather than be at the mercy of our egoistic responses. When this happens, the ego becomes a useful and essential tool for getting things done in the world.

To experience this physical world we need the right tools; the ego is one. As we follow our spiritual path, whichever it is, it leads us towards the knowing of our true Self, it helps purify the mind, and thus the ego. We become more aware of our divine nature. This does not destroy the ego but rather allows us to see it for what it is and no longer believe it is who we are.

A second part of the conversation was why? Why have this illusion, this ego, this separation? Big Question. Short answer – because only in this dimension of duality can God experience God. In the spiritual realm there is only One, and so the polar opposites, good/bad, right/wrong, hot/cold, love/fear cannot be experienced. The desire of the Universe to experience everything created the Universe as we know it. Our journey is the one back to the Oneness. That Oneness we see when we look deeply into someone’s eyes.

Whose eyes are looking out of today? The ego’s or the Self? Can you shift your focus to see the illusion, to see the truth? Can you revel in the play of this Universe?

2007-03-09T02:56:00.000-08:00

Everybody’s

I have a quite a few conversations recently with my clients about the concept of “everybody”. The ‘everybody’ I am talking about is the ‘everybody’ that is in our mind that acts as our internal censor.

The
“What will everybody think is if change my job again?”
“What will everybody say if I stop going to weight-watchers?”
“What will everybody do if I don’t fall in and do what they all want?”

Somewhere along the line we have empowered this everybody panel and they stand in judgement of us, censoring our thoughts, actions and decisions. We need their approval before we will do anything. Most often this is completely subconscious, we don’t consciously hand over our power, but it is what happens.

Once we start to become aware of our ‘everybody’ we can then start to make some changes. Take a moment, who is in your ‘everybody’ panel? Whose approval are you always trying to gain? Who is the person or people in your life that you feel most judged by? Now these people may or may not actually judge you, sometimes we can just think they do. But the main point is whether they do or not you are the one who can change this.

You can fire them from your ‘everybody’ panel. You can decide that you no longer need them to be your approval group. You can decide to take back your power and stand up, responsible for your world. One of my clients realised that he didn’t even have real people in his panel; it was simply ‘the world’. Once he saw this he could also see how it had no foundation, and could start to reclaim his decisions. Becoming aware of this pattern in your life is the first step to change.

If you truly wish to step out from under your ‘everybody’s’, start with the small stuff. Begin with a situation where it doesn’t feel like life and death, but more like testing the water. I realised when I first started living from my heart rather than letting ‘them’ make my decisions, that most often it was fine. If I truly spoke up and said what I wanted to do and owned the decision a lot of people in my ‘everybody’ panel, who I thought would disapprove, actually got it and said – ‘we only want you to be happy’. It was a revelation.

So who are you empowering, who's in your 'everybody' panel? Do you want them there? Or is today the day you start the process of change? Why not make today the day you put only your unconditional cheerleader up there – YOU.

2007-03-02T07:57:00.000-08:00

Masks.

I have just gotten back from a weekend in Basel where we went to the Fasnacht, a traditional 3-day carnival that starts at 4.00am on Monday morning. The lights go out in the town and a couple of hundred piccolo and drum bands strike up the same song. The most amazing thing about this (other than it goes on for three whole days) is the wonderful masks and costumes they all wear. Many have spent untold hours on making what are in fact works of art.

It got me thinking about the masks we all wear everyday. We have taken years creating these masks. For all of us at the beginning of our life we didn’t even know that we were doing it. Gradually, however, it begins to dawn on us that we do all wear them. Some of us wear them for fear of being judged and so create the mask of likeability. Some of us wear them so we will fit in and so wear the mask of conformity. Some of us construct a mask of different-ness so we stand out and can’t be compared to another. Some of us wear the mask of inability so no one will ask anything of us. Some simply hide behind any mask they can for fear of being seen. Others like to shine out and so have a glittery mask that catches people’s attention, and yet more put on the mask of indifferent excellence.

Whatever mask we wear is up to us. It is not particularly bad that we wear a mask but we do need to become aware of which one we wear and why. Masks can be useful if they are a conscious choice and we may need them in our interactions with the world. But, and this is important, never let them become who we are. When that happens they limit us and our potential. We stop seeing the bigger picture and begin to believe in the story behind the mask. Only when we become aware of the mask can we freely chose to wear it or like some of the participants in the carnival, take them off after one song and play unmasked, enjoying the freedom it gives and taking in the appreciation openly and joyfully.

What mask do you wear and why? Have you ever considered exchanging it for another greater, more expanded version? Or even taking it off altogether?

2007-02-22T07:40:00.000-08:00

Blurting

I have just had the funniest thing happen, bear with me I’ll get to that bit in a minute. However, this morning I had situation happen in which the complete opposite of what I had been working on happened. This was not the first time, however this morning was the straw that broke the camels back.

I was so cross and wrote an email to a friend to have a real good old moan about how unfair the world was, why did it happen to me AGAIN, I’m fed up with this, blah blah blah! I had a good old blurt – an unedited flow of thought. Ever since writing the email I have been able to drop it - more or less. Each time it came back to mind I reminded myself that I was allowed one blurt of negativity and that’s all. The optimum of course would be no blurts of negativity, but I am realistic and know myself and I do need to get it out of my system.

Now as I said, since the blurt I have been able to catch the thoughts and drop them, but I did feel bad about sending the email and dumping the negativity on someone else. That had stuck with me most of the day. Here’s the funny thing: I never actually sent it. I thought I had, but I have just this moment opened up my draft folder and there it was, in all its unsent glory! I was so pleased that it hadn't landed up in her inbox and darkened her day.

Lesson: Blurting is great, get it out, write it down, shout at an empty room if you need to. Tell yourself that this blurt is the one and only opportunity to remove it from your system. Any more is just self-indulgence, and simply starts to recreate it all over again. Move on, get into the present moment and deal with what’s next. Create something anew.

Premium lesson: don’t send the email! No dumping allowed – this is your stuff, not anyone else’s.

Next time you feel a bout of annoyance, pissed off-ness, anger or frustration coming on, try blurting, it helps.

2007-02-16T05:29:00.000-08:00

Staying power.

I saw a magnificent movie this week; The Pursuit of Happyness, and it blew me away. The shear perseverance this man, Chris Gardner, had to pursue his dream, throughout the most challenging of circumstances was truly awe inspiring. It brought tears to my eyes. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Where a large percentage of people would have given up he stayed the course, with no guarantees at the end, and won through.

It made me contemplate my own life and how with some things, compared to Chris Gardner, I have given up at the first fence! We live in an instant society, we are used to having it now, immediately, this minute. The instant gratification. If it doesn’t happen quickly we often give up and move on to the next thing.

Living life spiritually, from the bigger picture, can be a bit like that too. If we don’t see results quickly we begin to think that it doesn’t work, that it won’t give us the experience we are looking for. Many times people try one path and if they don’t see results, they stop and try something else. With this constant changing how can we possibly make progress? There is a clue in all true spiritual paths as to how to embody spirituality and live it. All of them have ‘practises’, things that you do on a regular basis. It may be meditation, contemplation, visualisation, practising gratitude, chanting, prayer, journaling, study, a myriad of things. The main point here is that we need to practise them, do them, have staying power. For us to constantly expand our awareness, grow as both human and spiritual beings we need the one pointed focus. As in the film there may be very intense challenges, where we can feel at our wits end, but keeping going, holding the end in sight and doing all that we can is the way forward.

What things have you given up on recently? Maybe it is time to pick them back up again, invoke your staying power? If you want inspiration go watch the movie and, just for fun, right at the end of the film a man walks past Will Smith and his son – the real, true life Chris Gardner!

2007-02-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

Fighting with Reality.

I have been wondering what to write about this week, so much so it is Saturday afternoon and I have only just sat down with an idea. I have felt out of sorts all week, difficult to write about keeping the bigger picture when I haven’t even noticed that there is one all week!

Nothing awful has been happening except that I have been in a situation where I have felt challenged by the people around me. I have felt that my time has been invaded, my priorities not honoured and I’ve generally been rather pissed off and definitely not very nice to live with. All the while this has been happening I have been justifying my bad mood all week, "it’s them not me, I’m perfectly reasonable!" However if I am really honest they have been nothing but nice and friendly. It was simply a matter of perspective.

This afternoon I pick up the Cygnus review and in there was an article about Byron Katie and her book Loving What Is - available from www.cygnus-books.co.uk. In it she presents what she calls The Work - just four questions that can change your world. They question our perception of reality and they help us to stop fighting it too. They are:

1 Is it true?
2 Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3 How do you react when you think that thought?
4 Who would you be without that thought?

These four questions when related to any negative experience that we are grappling with can shift our awareness immediately. They help us see that it is our thoughts about what is happening that create our experience

I was thinking “they shouldn’t be here doing that”, “they should understand that it annoys me and stop”. However when I applied the questions I could see that it was my fighting with the reality of the situation that was causing such upset within me. No-one else was having such a strong reaction, it was just within me. At the same time all this was playing out I knew that I did not want to be having this reaction, I knew I wanted to be more loving and accepting but I simply could not turn it around. The reminder of The Work is what shifted it. Asking these questions doesn’t create a right or a wrong. It simply shows us that if we are fighting with reality then we are going to lose. Loving acceptance is the key to understanding and loving our mind, and therein lies inner peace.

What reality are you fighting with right now? Who would you be without that thought?

2007-02-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

One Inspired Thought

Twice this week I have been reminded of following up on that ‘one inspired thought’. A potential client wrote to me at 1.00am in the morning after realising that he really wanted to change some things in his life. Silence was the reply to my email inviting him to a free session, and when I called him he was already into avoidance techniques. Another similar reminder was in conversation with a friend. She told me about being very clear at 3.00am about a tricky conversation she needed to have with a colleague, but it getting foggy by 9.00am and she had to work really hard to regain the clarity.

I am a great believer that we are given these inspired thoughts for a reason. They often occur when our minds are not in full flow, especially at night, quiet times and after or during a meditation. Our job is to act! If we allow ourselves to think too much about them we will talk ourselves out of the action. What seemed so clear becomes muddied by the cold light of day. A reality check too far.

It is our ego, the part of us that is invested in us not changing, that persuades us that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all. It doesn’t make sense, it is upsetting the apple cart, and what’s more we have no guarantee that it will work! And so we stop, tidy the idea up and put it away in the drawer.

There is a lovely quote in The Secret DVD that says, “When you have an inspired thought you have to trust it and act on it.” Sounds simple huh? Well yes, but we need to make a commitment to ourselves to follow it. If we get an inspired thought and it feels good, then that emotional response is the green light. Anything that makes us truly feel good is indicating that we are on the right track. With that inner guidance of a good feeling we know we can trust it and it will give us the confidence and courage to act.

So be vigilant in the next week, look out for your inspired thoughts, even if they feel illogical, and don’t let it get caught up in the cold light of day. Don’t let it get buried by life. Instead act on it, immediately and watch the result unfold.

2007-01-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

Never Too Late

This week I had the great privilege to work with a woman who is in her 73rd year. She was an inspiration, so much vitality, so much verve for life, willing to embrace new ideas and be open the possibility of going for it. There was not a bone in her body that said retirement = stop. It was one of the most enjoyable hour and a half’s that I have spent for a while.

It made me think about how some people can get so bogged down in their lives that they quit early. They repeat that old saying ‘can’t teach a dog new tricks’. Well I think that that is our choice. If we choose to stay stuck in wherever we are in our lives then no, we won’t learn new tricks. If however, we are open and willing to say yes to whatever life throws at us, then we can and do learn new tricks and become a bigger and better version of ourselves.

So this message this week for all of you out there (and for those who you may know who fit the bill) is that it is never too late. That if we allow our age or what we think are our limits to stop us then they will. We are actually unlimited; it is only our thoughts that create the line we cannot go over. So often we start towards something we dream of and, just because it does not arrive as and when we thought it would, we quit, we give up. How many times has the Universe just been about to deliver to you something spectacular, but you’ve found some limit to stop you going on and the Universe has had to sigh, turn round and put it back in the cupboard again?

So I challenge you, whatever age you are, to keep going, to be open to whatever comes your way, to think the biggest ideas you can and then some. Have the intention that when you are in your 73rd year you too will still be pushing the boundaries, surpassing your minds limits and most importantly – having fun!

2007-01-19T08:29:00.000-08:00

Keeping the Positive Focus.

A lot is being talked about recently about The Law of Attraction. The movie The Secret has caught people’s attention following in the wake of What the Bleep Do We Know and Further Down the Rabbit Hole. I even watched online two Larry King Live interviews (http://jamesray.com/resources/larry-king-live.ph) in which most of the people from The Secret were talking about the Law of Attraction and how to use it in your life. I highly recommend all these movies and interviews as well as the CD’s The Law of Attraction, the Law of Deliberate Creation and the Law of Allowing from Esther Hicks and Infinite Possibilities and Leveraging the Universe from Mike Dooley.

The key to all these offerings is that you need to stay focused on what you wish to see in your life and tap into the passion you feel for that focus. Not too difficult you would think, but we are so programmed to notice and focus on what is not happening, what is negative in our lives. I was grappling with this in the last week, I had a slightly yuk feeling. Nothing I could actually name, but I wasn’t in that happy space that indicates that I am on the right track. In one of the interviews, Bob Proctor was asked what we could do to help us keep focused. He said the greatest thing we can do to help ourselves is to listen and watch this inspiring and uplifting material as much as possible.

So I took him at his word. I spent two whole days using every spare minute immersed in inspiration. And it worked. I started to feel lighter, happier, more in tune with what I wish to create in my life. I began to believe it possible and reconnected with what I could do to start the process. This not only involved my thoughts and visualisations, but also concrete actions that said to the Universe, here I am, I am ready to do this in fact I am already doing it. At this time this involved me organising a series of conversations of discovery about spirituality in a local centre. I’d always had the feeling that I’d talk about it ‘one day’, but I realised that I needed to start from where I am with what I’ve got right now. It felt good and ever since my inner guidance system, my emotional state, has been registering happy, contented and excited.

What inspires you? What makes you feel that anything is possible, that you can and will fulfil your dreams? As a great meditation master once said, “Do it!”

2007-01-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

“Going with the flow can get you pushed around the river…making a strong boat and steering it yourself is much more satisfying.”

I was sent this quote this week and I found it thought provoking. How can we build a strong boat? How can we steer it ourselves whilst still letting the flow take us where we need to go?

The first thing that came to mind – the strong boat - was to set clear intentions. When we set an intention it is a statement to the Universe, to the Divine that we are clear about what we wish to have happen in our lives. We are invoking a flow that we can dive into. If we keep our clear intention in mind and work with it, feel it done, allow the emotion of the intention to draw it towards us, we make sure that we are in a strong boat. When we lose sight of our intention, get sidetracked by events or put off when the first rock comes our way, is when we are pushed around the river and feel out of control. Our nature at that point is to tighten up and try and control the flow and that’s when things can feel as though they are going wrong.

So what about us steering the boat? Well intentions are all very good, just like a strong boat, but if you forget to keep them in mind, to visit them regularly, then it is like having no rudder at all. By working with our intentions we know the heading we need to steer. They act like an autopilot. Set the heading and keep it firmly set and the autopilot, sensing the flow and where it is taking us, will make constant adjustments to ensure our safe arrival.

For me this quote is not about tightening up and being in control but doing the things that ensure we not only go with the flow of energy in our lives, but also use it as the positive force it is. To be in the flow is to be aware of our connection with the Universe and allow it to guide on the shortest, most harmonious, and best way for us, forward.

How strong and clear are your intentions?

2007-01-04T09:26:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

It’s funny, a friend of mine said she was celebrating New Year and doing her resolutions early, like in July. She always felt that at the New Year in deep winter she was never feeling very vibrant or imaginative to create resolutions and focus on new goals. At the time I thought this odd but right now I can totally relate to what she was saying.

I had a great Christmas with my friends and family but I do feel a little low on the batteries right now. Lots of celebrating (!) and lots of time spent talking, catching up and generally having a good time with everyone can and does take its toll on our inner strength.

So how can we use this unique time that we are gifted with each year to create new beginnings from a space of inner fortitude? I’ve been wondering about this today and asking myself what is missing from my life right now.
Inner quiet was the answer, which if you could hear the racket going on outside my window as they open a new children’s park is ironic! But it is true, we need an inner space of quiet to get in touch with what our heart desires. Only then can we be clear enough about how it will feel when it is in our lives. And that, as we have said before, is the beginning of creation.

So, for this first week of 2007 I wish for you a space of inner quiet, a space for you to see in your minds eye what 2007 holds, and what you wish to create for yourself and for those whose lives you touch. How you do this is up to you. A few reminders could be go for a long solitary walk, meditate, listen to inspiring music, take a few days out in silent retreat, chant a mantra or even simply stop and observe your world including all the chaos it may hold. Get back in touch with that expansive space within and feel the limitlessness of you. From that place miracles can and do happen.

I leave you with one question - what would you envision right now if you knew you could not fail to succeed?

Have a great 2007 and thanks to all of you who take the time to visit the bigger picture and also contribute. Here’s to our continuing journey together.

Much love Jessica

2006-12-21T08:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas and a fun and prosperous New Year!

Last post before Christmas and I go away and don’t look at my computer until the New Year. :-) A client asked me this week if I could recommend a way of reflecting on the past year and looking forward into the coming year – and I could! So I thought that I would also share this reflection with you. Take some time with it, if you are a lover of rituals create a sacred space for it. This is a moment for you to paint whatever picture of 2007 that you want.

The passage from 2006 – 2007

It is always useful to take some time at the end of the year and review what has happened for you in the past twelve months. This time of reflection is useful as an acknowledgment as well as a time to take stock of your progress through life.

So before New Year, so you have time to remember all that has happened, take some time and ask yourself what were the big events in the past year? How did you handle them, what insights did this year give you, how are you a different person now than at the beginning of the year? Who have you met this year that has made an impact on your life? Who has moved out of the close circle of friends? Sometimes by the time we get to December we forget a lot of what happened in the beginning of the year so it helps to take a look at your diary. Ask yourself what has 2006 taught me about me? What lessons has this year held for me? What have been my strengths this year? Where could have I been more flexible? How balanced was my year? Really take stock of all that has occurred.

On the eve of the New Year, find some quiet time for a meditation. Bring all the things you remember about the past year to mind, acknowledge them and let them go one by one. When you feel complete with this see yourself standing at the doorway to 2007. Turn and take one last look at 2006 and then walk through the doorway into a totally white room. As you stand there just take a look and see what or who has come with you. These may be anything or anyone, just know that they have come through the threshold for a purpose yet to be revealed. Now notice a set of paints and brushes, with these brushes you can create anything you wish on the plain white walls of 2007. Pick up the brushes and start to paint, don’t censor the art of 2007, just paint. Once you have finished stand back and admire your handiwork, let it become part of you and if you wish you can make some notes or sketches so you can recapture this at any time during the year.

Make your entry into 2007 a conscious one.

Then, after you have put the next year in motion, CELEBRATE, in whatever way feels appropriate for you!

Happy New Year!

2006-12-13T08:50:00.000-08:00

Handling Negativity

Handling negativity seems to be the theme for the week; I’ve come across it personally, with friends and with clients so it is definitely in the air!

In relationships it can be difficult to stay positive if your partner is down in the dumps especially as we have a tendency to take our relationships personally! However it is useful to remember that it is not about you but about them. I suggest that within relationships you devise a way of handling this seesaw situation before it hits. Discuss it and find out from your partner how they would best feel supported. Do they want cheering up or simply support? The tendency is to try to cheer someone up when they are down, but sometimes this is actually the worst thing you can do. For the one who is feeling negative just being heard is often all that needs to happen. However the one who is positive also needs to devise a way to stay positive in the face of negativity. This can be aided by not totally focussing on the ‘problem’ of the other (but ensuring that it is not ignored it either) but also keeping a clear focus on what is good. That may be immersing yourself in something that reminds you of the good stuff, listen to CD’s, watching inspiring films, talking to someone who is also feeling good or even simply taking some time out to stay in the happy place. When we feel negative it is not to bring the other down to our level, but sometimes it is hard to get out of the black hole. In those moments having a partner who demonstrates that there is an alternative (without trying to get their partner to be there too) can be very important.

We can also find ourselves in friendships that feel negative and toxic. Maybe we were once in that space of always seeing the world through a black cloth, but as we grow and evolve we can outgrow our friends. If you find yourself in this situation it can then become a choice. Does the friendship mean more to you than the down side? If so then know it is a choice to be in that energy and you can work to not let it seep into your life. If however the friendship is no longer nurturing then maybe it’s time for the hard question; do you still want this person in your life? I had a situation many years ago when I had to make this decision and saw that I no longer wanted the repetitive negative conversations. I talked about this with my friend and said I was happy to be a support to her but not as it was now, the focus needed to be different. In that way we both had a choice.

Negativity at work also raised its head this week. How to handle someone in the work place who can never see the good in something? That is a tricky one. Limit the amount of interaction if you can. If not, then do not enter in to the negative talk but constantly turn it round to solutions. In this way you mirror the behaviour you’d like to receive. If you have a good relationship with the person you could point out what they do, often people are not aware of their habits. And, one I like is to imagine yourself as a duck. Yep a duck! Ducks have totally waterproof coats, imagine yourself with a totally negative proof back – let it pour off you like water off a ducks back.

It doesn’t have to touch you and part of living life with a bigger picture focus is choosing your thoughts. Make them the good ones.

2006-12-01T11:16:00.000-08:00

Overwhelm

Funny how things tend to go in themes – this week’s theme in my coaching practise has been talking about overwhelm so I thought that it was a good subject for the blog.

Why do we feel overwhelmed? Often because we feel that we have too much on our plate, that we can’t get everything done, that the job ahead of us is too large we don’t know where to start. And that’s a key – picking a place to start. Most times it doesn’t actually matter where we start but simply that we do. Once we get going we can find that the momentum carries us forward with much more ease than we thought.

So just starting can be a help. It is also useful to notice that overwhelm is a futures thing – things have that feeling of being overwhelming because they threateningly loom ahead of us and take our focus off what we are doing right now. It is large problem in our heads but not in reality. But it’s real right now I hear you shout, well yes but if you really take few deep breaths and become REALLY present is it still real? No. So if being present with what is happening right now is an aid, how can we help ourselves to get present?

One way to help your mind relax and drop that overwhelm feeling is write a list of what needs to get done. You don’t have to know the ‘how’ right now, simply the ‘what’. By creating this list we are telling our minds that we will take care of it, it can relax. We can then refocus ourselves onto what is right in front of us at this moment and start with that.

Worry often accompanies overwhelm and a very effective way of handling worry to give yourself a 15 minute time slot each day to use solely for worrying. At any other time in the day if you catch yourself worrying you have to say, “No, I can’t worry about that now, I’ll do it in my worry time”, and write it down on a list. Then when the time comes round you can sit down with your list and worry away to your hearts content! You will find that it is a sure fire way to reduce your worrying and realise that worrying has absolutely no benefits at all. If you do this your worries and therefore your feeling of overwhelm will shrink immensely.

Remember it is all in the mind – what’s in yours?

2006-11-24T10:10:00.000-08:00

An Attitude of Gratitude

Opps it is Friday again, it’s 6.43pm my time and it’s time for some blogging. Where does time fly? Well it does, especially if you’re having fun which is what I’ve been having this week. Why? Well no reason in particular, nothing huge has changed in my life, except one small detail. I’ve been focusing on practising gratitude.

I’ve been doing it, reading about it, thinking about it, looking at different ways to remember it; this week been focused on gratitude. And I feel great. Funnily enough I just received an email from an American friend who reminded me that it was Thanksgiving coming up. A time of gratitude for a whole nation. Why not a whole planet?

So why does gratitude feel so great? Because it infuses your whole day. If you start the day feeling good about your world, that energy stays with you. You begin to notice the little things in your life and start to feel grateful for them too. I am lucky enough to live in a beautiful place on this great planet, but I often forget that and my surroundings become invisible. By being in a space of gratitude I’ve started to notice it again and as I walk down the street have silently offered up a thank you for the great place I live. As I do this it becomes an even greater place. Nothing on the physical plane has to actually shift, but my experience of living here is enhanced through my gratitude.

Gratitude is also a great manifestor in our lives and that’s another conversation altogether, suffice to say that if we are grateful for the things in our lives that energy draws more towards us.

So how to remember? Have an intention each day so that as you wake and get dressed you start feeling gratitude for whatever good stuff you have in your life. You can also be grateful for the lessons you are learning even if they are challenging ones. Have something to remind you, a note on your bathroom mirror, a recurring reminder on your computer. I even heard of someone who carries something in their purse so that whenever they spend money they remember to be grateful for the wealth they have.

Doesn’t matter what you do as long as you do it. Gratitude makes you happy.

What are you grateful for today?

2006-11-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

It is what it is

I had an ahah moment this week, which I think in part has something to do with the fact that I am lying flat out with an acutely sprained back. Nothing like inactivity to get the mind going. I was thinking about my life, where I am, what I am doing, and watching how my mind kept on looking at decisions I’ve taken over the past few years and playing ‘what if’ scenarios. What if I’ve gone there instead of here, made that decision instead of this. Sound familiar? Now I know intellectually that there are no mistakes, no wrong decisions, that all that has occurred in my life is exactly as it should be. I honestly believe that. And, for a fleeting moment yesterday I absolutely 'got' that it is what it is. That is a very freeing moment, a complete acceptance of what is and what will come.

At the same time that this has been going on I have been watching the film The Secret a few times (check out www.thesecret.tv). The whole film is about the Law of Attraction and how we can use it to create in our lives. Nothing new in theory but very powerfully presented and unpacked in a really positive way, it kind of takes it one step further. One statement that stood out last night was that whatever has manifested through thought in your life can be undone though a shift in your thoughts and emotions. In other words just because we have created something we don’t like doesn’t mean that we cannot create something new. You can’t change the past and it’s consequences, but you can influence the future.

Put these two experiences together and I suddenly felt just how powerful thoughts and emotions are. If I have created all that is in my life then I can go create again, and again, and again. There is no end to creation, but by accepting ‘it is what it is’ you take the first step to letting it go and manifesting something new in your life.

What do you need to let go of today? What do you want to create in your life tomorrow?

2006-11-09T03:20:00.000-08:00

What is our purpose?

Big question, and one that can only just be raised here in the blog, but it is a question I often look at with my coaching clients. I’ve had many differing ideas about our life purpose over the years. Some say that it always includes an element of service; that it doesn’t necessarily mean the job you do; that it is something that draws you; that it might be invisible to some people; that it has to touch your heart; that it is predestined by our karma; that our purpose is finding out purpose. On and on it goes; there are lots of thoughts about life purpose. All of the above statements hold an element of truth in my mind but the one thing about purpose that I am now sure of is this:

Your life purpose is to find your joy.

If you are doing the thing that brings you joy, fulfilment and happiness then you are embodying your life purpose. When I first came across this idea I thought it selfish and self-serving. But as I contemplated it I began to see that it is only by doing what brings us joy that can take us to our purpose. Our life purpose is not going to be something that we hate! Not possible. Our life purpose will be what gives us the greatest fulfilment and this is why I now have this as my focus, not only for myself but my clients too. Fulfilment is the key. Take that one step further and we don’t even have worry about finding our purpose – a burden for quite a few people. All we need to do is ask ourselves what fires our imagination, what makes us feel great when we think about it, what do we love doing. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as we are true to our hearts; big or small it is equally valid. As a great master once said: if you want to know how to please God, first please yourself.

2006-10-19T07:52:00.000-07:00

Are we our Roles?

Firstly I want to thank those of you who are starting to enter into the conversation and leave comments to the posts. This is what it is about, having a discussion about what it means to live in the bigger picture. Please feel free to invite your friends in too.

I see this as anyone’s blog not necessarily a reflection of just my thoughts and beliefs. Hence wanting you to join the conversation and add your ideas too. But thinking about that also got me thinking about the roles we play in our lives and how we identify not only ourselves by these roles, but also categorise others by the roles we see them play.

I have seen that I have been letting go of some of my roles recently. When I gave up some work, as I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, it was a giving up of a role. Not just the work itself, but also how I saw myself in the work: dependable, in charge, knowledgeable, efficient. That’s not to say I can no longer function in these roles but the expression of me as these things in that particular situation has been removed. It feels empty, like a peg I had hung myself on for a while no longer exists. The question that comes next is of course, ”well who am I then?” And that, is the 64 thousand dollar question. As we release our attachments to the roles in our lives we begin to look deeper into who we truly are, what our destiny might be. These can be scary questions but at some time or other I reckon we all ask them.

What roles are you hanging onto to stave off these questions? Do you still need to identify with them? Could you begin to start dropping them as a form of identification and become, simply, you?

P.S. I'm away next week off up to the Picos de Europa mountains in northern Spain coaching a course called The Big Stretch www.thebigstretch.com Take a look, it's a great, life-changing week. That being said there's no posts from me but you can keep the conversation going...

2006-10-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

Choices.

Our lives are constant choices. And that’s how it is supposed to be. We have a choice, make a decision and that bears a consequence. Then, in the light of that consequence, we have another choice, and make another decision and on it goes. The question is however, are our choices conscious ones or do we often press the default button? Do we end up actually not making a choice, but rather allowing ourselves to slip into a situation or action because of its ease? A situation that had we been more awake we might have done it differently.

I realised that many of the things that have occurred in my life have happened because of the default button. For example, years ago I’d taken a job because someone called me up and offered it. True, I was looking for a new direction, but I maybe would not have chosen that particular place and job. However, because it was an easy choice I took it. From one level this may look like destiny working in our lives, and on one level it is just that.

What’s wrong with that I hear (some) of you ask. Well actually nothing except for one small detail. If we are the creators of our lives we can actually be more involved the creative process than just pressing the default button. Sure the offer of that job came because I put out to the Universe that I craved change away from the corporate world. But how more powerful would my heartfelt desire had been if I’d craved change towards something rather than away from something?

The more clarity we have about what we want and how we will feel when we get it, the greater the chance we have in manifesting the change we truly desire.

Don’t leave your life up to the default button, wake up and decide for yourself.

2006-10-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

The size of our thoughts

This morning in meditation I had the ah-ha experience of two things I have known intellectually for a while come together. I have known that thoughts become things, what we think is what we create. I have also known that it is possible to live in the awareness of unity, non-duality – the enlightened masters do it all the time. I thought that I had to be in that space of enlightenment first, only then would I be able to think from an awareness of unity. Today I realised that it is thinking enlightened thoughts - thoughts that come from a bigger picture perspective - that creates the experience of unity. By thinking non-dual thoughts we create it.

If I think small, my world is small. If I think big, my world is big. In other words, if I think victim, my world is that of a victim. If I think responsibility, my world is that of someone who takes responsibility for all things in my life. Each bigger picture thought always brings me to the present moment wherein lies unity.

What size are your thoughts?

2006-09-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

How could I forget to write?

Oopps, there I was driving back from the dentist and I suddenly realised that it was Thursday and I hadn’t even started to think about this week’s blog let alone write it! Does that ever happen to you, you get so wrapped up in stuff that you forget the things that are on your everyday/week list? The things that you do so regularly that they become part of your life without thinking. Not that the blog has reached quite that point in my life but it does bring to mind the importance of being present. It’s the same old story - how can we remember to be present in our own lives? How about bringing in that powerful tool of intention. Instead of getting agitated with all the ‘shoulds’, and then beating ourselves up for not doing them, how about taking a step back and setting real intentions. An intention is powerful as it is a statement to the Universe that you wish something to happen. Create a statement of intent and let that be the thing that leads. Let that be the one thing you read each morning before starting your day. It allows that you are not alone in this process called life. It shows that you do not have to know the ‘how’ you are going to do something. It brings you into the creative space of co-creation. It engages God, the Universe, into your life and sends a powerful message of “I’m ready, lets do it”.

What intention would you like to set today?

2006-09-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

The modern day hermits cave

I have definitely lived the lives of a hermit, sadu, and monk. It must true as I am so at home up the side of the proverbial mountain. However, each time I try to go and live up a mountain I seem to get thwarted by circumstance. Not now, is the message. This time round you are going to do this in the world. And so it is that this weekend we energetically let go of some land we bought a while ago, the land I was to build my hermitage!

This ties nicely in with the situation I seem to be dealing with right now. How to keep focused on the bigger picture when the world insists on getting not only in the way but right in my face? Nothing huge, simply a mix of me wanting to move forward with new work ideas, a friend coming to stay in our rather small apartment and, to top it all, being surrounded by stress and fear. I began to feel in crisis and it wasn’t even mine. At that point I focus on the crisis and try to be supportive through it, all the while being caught up in the illusion of it. What happens at this point is that I begin to wish that I could go somewhere, anywhere, to find that space of isolation, that quiet and peace. I forget that I am the creative force in my Universe and become the pawn in the play. I lose the bigger picture completely. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

My antidote to this is time and space. Coupled with the intention and discipline to give myself both. So often I find that when I get caught up in other people’s worlds my basic needs get shelved first. This might seem noble, but in fact I end up not serving anyone, let alone myself. To keep the big picture perspective I need to ensure that I have given myself the time and space to connect with it in the first place. That time and space can be filled with many things, meditation is one, as it visualisation, listening to inspiring CD’s, reading profound texts or simply daydreaming the good stuff. Whatever it is that will help me reconnect with the inner me, with my truth.

What is it that you do to refocus your picture, to remove the snowstorm across the screen? As much as the hermits’ cave might sound like a good idea at the time we all need the modern equivalent. What’s yours?

2006-09-12T08:29:00.000-07:00

Disaster or Destiny?

I had a horror movie dream last night, and as we all know in the world of dreams anything can and does happen. I dreamt that I was in a plane and as we took off we clipped the side of a hotel. Just slightly you understand nothing to bring us down immediately. However it was obvious that this plane was going nowhere and definitely not up. I was very calm, almost like I was only witnessing the situation as the pilot wrestled with the plane. It looked hopeless, like we would crash at any point, but everyone was very calm. Because it was a dream, and odd things can happen in dreams, we could all see out the windscreen, like in a car. We calmly watched as the pilot narrowly missed all the obstacles in the way, took a steep right turn and safely landed on a dual carriageway without hitting a single thing. The overriding feeling was ‘I knew it would be fine’!

So even if it looks as though we are heading for disaster, if we are not supposed to crash - we won’t. We just don’t know where we are heading in the bigger picture – destiny may have things in store that we have no idea about. In fact it is pretty certain that it does. I heard destiny defined as what comes to us when we look at our fear and choose to transcend it as opposed to fate, which is what happens to us as a consequence of letting our fears make a decision.

Sometimes when we hold back and give power to our fears we think we are averting a plane crash. However, in truth, we are creating it with our thoughts. Fear is an amazingly strong thought. If we transcend our fears and allow ourselves to seemingly head for disaster, more often than not that single act of faith, letting go and letting God, will spin us into a totally different trajectory. If we don’t let our fears stop us we will invoke our destiny.

When I first let go of the work I talked about in my previous posting, the stuff I’d held onto out of fear for so long, the destiny I invoked rushed in. I started by thinking about how I would feel when my dreams and wishes around my work came about. By return – literally within one day - more interesting and varied work appeared from places I couldn’t have even thought of left up to my own devices. I noticed opportunities that had been there before, but had been hidden by my fear. The phone rang out of the blue. I found the enthusiasm and energy to make a start. So not only do I say ‘bring it on’, but do something to start the process. Make a list of all the things you know you could do but are too frightened to start and pick one, just one – pick it and start today.

As Goethe said:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!'

2006-09-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

So what is the bigger picture? That this life is not as it seems on the outside. That we are not separate from each other but at a deeper level we are all connected. We are all one in God. If you don't like the word God then it is totally interchangeable with The Universe, The Divine, Providence, whatever you choose. If we come from this space of unity then our reactions and responses to the world, both our personal world and the greater one outside of our immediate circle, will be coming from love.

At this time in my life I am focused on experiencing how to live with full faith and create the life of my dreams. I believe our thoughts become things and yesterday I had an ahah moment in which and old limiting belief was blown out of the water. I had always had a fear that if I totally let go and let God/Universe/The Divine be the creative force in my life that maybe it wasn't true. Maybe there was no such thing as destiny, that we are held and loved and that our needs are met. Perhaps I would be abandoned and fall flat on my face. This was the deepest fear that held me back from living my life to the full. How could I possibly relinquish the reins? But why not if I am truly the creative force in my life? Why not if I really am totally responsible for my life? If my thoughts, which are not separate from the Universe, are the creative force in the Universe, then I cannot be abandoned. Why would I abandon myself? Who can abandon who when there is only one. Dwell on this, it is a fundamental paradox and if you get it, it is very freeing. So today I chose to let go of some work that had been holding me back, a tie to the past and past fears. Not only does this free up time to do stuff, like this blog, but it also signals to the Universe, I am ready - BRING IT ON!

2006-09-06T10:09:00.000-07:00