Who is most important you - or them?

The themes that come up in my coaching from week to week often intrigue me. This week has been about making decisions and who for.

We are often taught to put others first when making decisions, it leads to a polite, caring society. However it also leads to frustration, resentment and a feeling of victim when we put others first to the detriment of ourselves.

When a truly personal decision is important then the only people who should count are the people it directly entails. Point in case I was talking to a client about her wedding plans. Many people wanted different things for different reason and everybody had an opinion as to what the wedding should be like, who should be going and the arrangements of the celebration. When we talked it through it became clear that in fact none of the options that had been discussed were what the couple wanted. They began to see that it was only because they were trying to please other people, people who they loved dearly, that they were contemplating a wedding that did not give them pleasure and only felt stressful. So we came up with a formula to help the decision making process, a wedding should be special to the couple and no one else. It should feel exciting and relaxed. It was their day.

I am not saying we should disregard other opinions, but if we start living our lives to please others then we are setting ourselves up for a fall. This life is ours to experience, ours to explore and ours to enjoy. It is only a belief that we have to live it to please others and as with all beliefs we can choose it either believe it or not. I choose not. I have found that by making decisions for me that in fact it is always the best decision. Our true friends only want our happiness and, even if it doesn’t seem so at first, most of our families are the same. By showing the world how happy we are with our own decisions the world applauds, and joins in.

Live life full on, fulfilling your dreams not another’s, and you will live your life to the end with a WOW, that was a good one, feeling.



If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.


If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me


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Living life to the full

A bit late with the blog this week and I have a great reason – we’ve been skiing with some friends and fun took precedence!

We were a mixed group of skiers, some virtually born to it and one member of our party had never been on skies before. He took to it like a duck to water and this was all the more amazing as he is not a spring chicken!

Made me think about how often we limit ourselves and use our age as an excuse. ‘Oh, I can’t learn to do that- I’m far too old!’ ‘Can’t teach an old dog new tricks’. ‘I’m way past the days when I could pick up a new skill’. And the truth of the matter is that if you think that, then that is absolutely right. As Henry Ford once said; whether you think you can do something or you think you can’t, you are right.

My friend came up the mountain and had the wonderful mindset that he was going to be ‘a natural’. Any fear he felt he put to one side and simply went for it 100%. It paid off handsomely and after a two-hour lesson he was up on the main slope with us. By the end of the afternoon he was snow-ploughing his way down the mountain turns and all. Not bad for three hours on skis. His positive mental attitude and the determination to learn to ski overcame anything getting in the way. After one day he was hooked and ready to go back and get better and better. That achievement in itself is a great motivator.

So, what are you not attempting, not going for, not learning? What excuses are your favourites? Maybe age but also maybe fear, or shyness, or lack of confidence? As my friend proved if you adopt the right mental mindset and just go and do it then all those elements are overcome. We learn and grow through the doing. What new experience is waiting out there if you were just brave enough to dive in?




If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.


If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me


If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.

Happy New Year!

It's funny, I have been writing this blog for over a year now but what with the breaks and holidays this is the 53rd blog I have written, appropriate don’t you think for the first one of the year?

Did you read the one just before Christmas (see below) with the exercise of doing a year review in a painting? Well I did the actual painting – more of a stick men drawing actually as you can see above - and I had a really interesting experience. Once I got started I found I had lots to draw in, I literally went through my diary and it was a continuous ‘oh and then that happened, and then that, oh and then that”. I found it great fun and it felt like a great big rampage of appreciation.

However what was interesting was that many of the things I thought I would want to tippex out didn’t actually feature. Why not? Because they were, more often that not, things that I had wanted to happen, but they hadn’t. How can you draw in something not happening? In fact I began to see that these elements were just things that I would like to draw into 2008.

Talking with others about the exercise some did have a few people or events they would like to say goodbye to for 2008 and a few unfortunate incidents that they didn’t want to repeat but in general the overall feeling was that the good hugely outweighed the bad, and the bad was a thought rather than an event. Lesson – focus on the things that happen rather on the stuff the doesn’t.

So, if you didn’t get around to your painting then I heartily recommend that you do. I took 4 hours drawing my year and as you can see you don’t have to be a master artist to do it, little stick figures are great, if you fancy actually drawing it. If you have friend who would like to have a go do it together, it is great fun as a group project too. Go on, have a rampage of appreciation for a 2007 and then go draw all that you want for 2008 – that’s my next step this Sunday – 2008 with all the things I wanted last year drawn into this – plus some!

Happy 2008!

If this message has sparked your interest and made you think then please feel free to leave a comment - the more the merrier. If you would like to be informed when a new blog is posted please sign up for the blog alert by clicking the link (above to the right) or email me with Alert in the subject line.


If you would like to explore how coaching can empower you to focus on moving towards that place of joy in your life please feel free to contact me to arrange a time for me to call you for a free introductory session. Tel +34 958 639 593 or click here to email me


If you would be interested in attending the Breakthrough to Success seminar mentioned in previous blogs please click this link and you can enrol for free for the next event in either the UK, Ireland, USA or Australia. Please feel free to pass this invitation onto as many people as you like.