Thursday, April 24, 2008


I remember chatting with a friend a few years ago and she looked very down in the mouth, "What's wrong?" I asked her, "I'm suffering from expectations!" was her reply. I loved this answer, it was so honest and demonstrated that she was taking 100% responsibility for the experiences in her life.

I had a bout of expectations at the weekend. It was my 50th birthday party, well actually it was a 90th birthday party as I was celebrating it with a close friend who was 40. He very generously had lent me five years so were saying we were 45 each! Anyway, here we are in the south of Spain, two very good friends had lent us their magnificent villa overlooking the marina and I had built up in my mind this wonderful party around the pool. Sunshine sparkling on the water and a balmy evening with us outside under the stars.

It rained! Not only did it rain, but it rained cats and dogs and horses, and donkeys and mules! At the same time it blew, a lot, rather like the wind tunnels that they test cars in. Get the picture?

Where were my expectations then? For a while I got very disappointed and because of that wasn't really enjoying myself. I was like the little girl who won't play 'cos it's not the game she wanted. All I could focus on was the fact that it wasn't as I had planned. Luckily someone pointed out early on that I was surrounded by the same good friends who would have been outside had the sun shone, and instead were all around a roaring log fire and were having fun. At that point I was able to drop the bout of expectation I was putting myself through and join in the party – and it was fun!

Where do your expectations trip you up in life? What are they stopping you enjoying or participating in? How different would your every day experience be if you weren't caught up in the expectation of how it should be? Can you drop them and join the party?

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Blogger said...

Oh dear! Expectations. Waiting to receive a call from somebody dear and when the phone doesn't ring, how easy it is to go into the negative ego of deception.

Deception which unfortunately takes us further down into insecurity. And insecurity which then creates a state of unworthiness. Expectations hurts. But unfortunately we have recognize within our "Self" that we have created it.

Love @ Light, Mua.

What is the solution? Not to expect.

6:21 AM  
Blogger elisa said...

Yep, oh dear! … that photo (love it!) looks so strangely ... "familiar" ... I think I often see that same expression in the mirror ... this topic definitely "hits home". ;o)

My very bad case of “expectations” has too often tripped me up badly and stopped me enjoying what was truly there for me to enjoy. I am going to watch for that expression now, drop it as soon as it appears and join and enjoy the party!

Thank you for posting this blog, Jessica, and Happy Belated Birthday!

12:54 AM  

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